Quote Originally Posted by Clevernick View Post
Tina -- you're putting yourself in the position of trying to make his judgement calls for him, based on what you know about him and yourself. Strange for a submissive.
With respect, I don't think Tina's thoughts are strange for a submissive or otherwise. Only inappropriate 'in scene,' otherwise entirely valid ponderings about a relationship.

Tina, you don't say what he says back to you when you raise these issues with him. Does he concur but say they don't matter? Does he agree but think, "We'll work it out"? Does he think you'll come round in time?
Or does he simply think they are not really differences and they're not that important between you? If he tells you something reassuring, why don't you just accept him at his word? Maybe it's enough for him to talk about these things freely with you. You might feel privileged that he chooses to do this, with you.

I wonder though, do you feel it's actually your basic needs that are not being met here? You talk as if he has an pre-scripted agenda which you can't match, but a successful relationship works out the agenda together. Do you get what you want and need from this relationship, or are you the one who's settling? Are you being too good, too accommodating, too submissive?

Please excuse me if I'm way off beam here. I don't mean to insult or unsettle you. The thought just occured.

Take care x x