Fitting a square peg into a round hole!!

[Pearlgem]

Tina, I honestly think, from what you say, that you know the truth, really. You see that you don't fit his 'surface' requirements (though actually a big deal for you) - he dismisses or ignores your limitations here. Some of your limits are physical and you couldn't change that even if you wanted to.

I bet your requirements are a bit more complex than you state! Yes, you want someone strong who will treat you right, but 'a bit of chemistry would be nice' Ouch! I would definitely hold out for a bit of that. (And is this reciprocal chemistry you're talking about here?) Some folk focus on the thrill of BDSM acts, but I'm relationship-orientated and have to be with someone I suit on basic levels before BDSM means anything to me.
To be threatened with 'disobedience' for things that are limits that he's ignoring is not right. It makes him sound inexperienced, uncaring. I don't condemn him, Tina. If you care for him you'd want to find a way to work past these things and grow and learn together. But can you fix this, really? Are your instincts telling you that your foundations are too fragile to build the relationship you really want?

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