I totally agree with Laila that without love BDSM is nothing more than just "kinky sex". From my experience, the deep level of trust required for a Ds relationship can only be acquired through mutual affection. I don't think FemDom/malesub scenario is different from MaleDom/femsub because, first of all, submissiveness does not imply weakness for it takes strength to be able to surrender your power to another person. Also, I do not think traditional gender roles are relevant in the alternative lifestyles. With that being said, I need to add that caring deeply for a person can affect one's dominance, or so was my experience. I found it hard to do certain types of intense play as I fell deeply in love in my last relationship. The great paradox of it is that I did not want to "hurt" him too much, and he was hurt precisely because of that. I am wondering if anyone else has been in a similar situation and found a way to reach the balance in love and BDSM?