Been there, done that, fell for it...

your instincts are correct.

If after 10 mos, you don't have the phone number of a mere friend that has your number, you'd normally find that super suspicious.

I could comment endlessly here. Just know that your gut is correct and as hard as it seems it will be... you need to walk away. This is a mind fuck of a relationship and not in the good way. I'm sorry.

good luck and if you ever need an ear...