Quote Originally Posted by jeanne View Post
This doesn't just happen online in poly relationships. I am finding that some 'poly' people in real life also treat the relationships they form lightly. And are unable, for whatever reason, to be open and honest about who they are and about all their relationships. Even when the other person is being completely open and honest.
This is True IME (unfortunantly) also Jeanne. Though I can say I have found fewer of these types in the Poly Community, than in any other. It's still disparaging when it happens.

Many times, a large part of this type of thing, also IME, is when people don't compare their definitions of what Poly is *to each of them*, before jumping in. And someone starts walking backwards later.

It's also true, that a person can only be as honest with someone else as they are with themselves.

And then there are those that just outright lie, or are deceitful in some way. Like> lies of omission. Or being manipulative. Or by with holding a Truth about themselves, they already know enough about the other person to realize, that things won't work out as they wish IF they tell it. There is tons of ways to lie I suppose?

I recently had a Friend tell me of the Relationship with one man she's been in for over a year now, that she just ended the intimate aspects of. Their Agreement contained a fluid bond between them soley, and only barriered sex with others. Primarily because he is basically Poly Sexual. It came to her attention about two weeks ago, via a Friend of hers (unbeknownst to him) over coffee, that he was sexually intimate with, that no barriers were utilized. AND he told her Friend that he only has sex with those he "feels safe with", and "people that he Knows", "so barriers aren't necessary". AND he "doesn't like them", barriers that is. There's more to this story, but it's already loooong enough. So the bottom line here is that> Not only did he Not keep his Agreement with my Friend, BUT that she has been exposed to Everyone he's had sex with for over a year now. And there's been quite a few of them. Heck, it only takes one who is sick and doesn't know it right?

She's been tested, and is so far clear. But she has to retest in 6 months to be Really Sure.

Personally, while I am a sex positive person, I am not Poly Sexual. I am an LTR kinda girl. It is truly rare for me to just jump into anything. I give things and people Time to show me who and what they are. Actions do speak louder than words to me. One of my cues is if you see or experience someone violating or betraying one Relationship, or the Agreements they have, in some way, don't imagine it won't happen with you (figurative you BTW).

I've Learned a lot in the Poly Community, and about the many different types of Poly Styles. But then, there are some that just don't cease to amaze me. More of "OMG Where do they come from?".

Respectfully~SidheWolf