Adding Others to a pre-exisiting Relationship

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I appreciate your response, and the issues you touch on. I don't understand the "slap in the face" part though. Do you mean the Reality of Living Poly to someone who has not Lived it yet? Or something else?

I mean the ones who have not lived it, but want to explore it. Everything looks fine when you discuss or talk about it, but I think that living it would be a difficult transition. I've seen couples who seek out a third submissive to share in the relationship, only to have it fall apart when the third submissive has a difficult time adjusting.
It happens and it's not only the inexperienced ones either, I think you have to have a pretty good idea of what you want out of the relationship, the more people you add to the mix, the more it takes to make things work. That is my opinion though, I don't know about anyone else.

What's wrong with the plain and simple Truth upfront? Leaving Everyone free to persue what they wish for in their Lives. Instead of spending months trying to work through what was never compatible to begin with? All drama and BS I don't think anyone serious needs or wants. Or maybe that's the crux of the problem? Too many out there that feel it's ok to "easily obtain committments and simply discard them"? After all, it's just online right? And a huge number of people just online for the temporary thrill of those things. Not at all our goal. <sighs>.

I understand how you feel. I sometimes don't think people are always insincere, but I think they are still confused about what they want and still trying to explore the options available to them. Some if not most do have an agenda, but that's something you have to learn how to cope with in an online environment.

I also say it may be "cool" as many people can claim to be poly, yet not too many understand how any why someone would want that.
For a new submissive to state she is poly, puts her (I'm using a female for easy reference for me) status as unique and interesting. I would say a submissive would think she is standing out from the crowd. Again my own opinion.

I know that when I saw a documentary on a BDSM Polyamory couple, I knew I wanted that type of relationship, however I hadn't grasped the concept of how it worked, and didn't realize the efforts involved to make it work.
To be honest, I still don't really know yet.
I would believe that the type of person you seek is out there, they are just a tad more difficult to find.
Yes as you said it's like trying to find a needle in a haystack.

And so you and your M are also seeking others to add? Reading that you wrote you are "willing to do the work" etc.

I don't know all of the different types of Poly relationships, but I am the second submissive.
He is married to his first submissive and she comes first before I do.
We have taken this slow and have only divulged online for the time being, and I will be visiting shortly to see if everyone involved will be able to be compatible. If I choose to live closer I would not be living with them, but I would still be in a relationship with him.

As of my own relationship right now, I have a b/f but I don't know if we are considered poly, he allows me to explore and he wants to find his own personal relationship without having them be poly.
If I had the opportunity to live with another couple, I would love to be able to explore that, which is why I said I would be willing to do the work. I don't know if it is for me, but I do know that I it is something that I would definately love to be able to have.