My first assignment.

[Oak]

This is my proposal for assignment one. I’m trying to describe my enthusiasm and joy with motorcycle riding – As it the absolute funniest thing a person can do on its own. Not much beats a wild ride on a sunny day.

1st Assignment; A wild ride.

Slowly I woke up and reached over to the other half of the bed, just to find the cold empty sheets. That’s right it’s only a few hours ago, I kissed her goodbye, as she had to work to day. As I wanted some kind of a ride, I got dressed, got into my gear and went down in the garage, where my other baby was waiting – my black Buell, as always ready for a ride. I checked oil, and how much gas there was on the tank. Turned the key and pressed the start button, noisy and vibrating the big V-twin came alive. I mounted her and with a last look at her Sporster, who almost looked sad and lonely, we drove out of the garage and through the still sleeping town.

After a slow, but quite nice ride, enjoying the morning wind and the nature around us. We arrived to our destination, our absolute favourite road. With its combination of tight and open turns, long straights, hills and jumps, it’s a dream come true and I often drove out here, just to let her run free and to feel the speed and the epinephrine kick. I gave gas and the V-twin roared under me and as I let go of the clutch, she jumped forwards, as a bull towards the matador, back-wheel spinning, fighting to get a grip, while I fought to prevent the front-wheel to rise to airborne. We raced up through the gears and were driving much faster than allowed when we came to the first corner, a sharp left. I braked hard; the rear wheel almost got airborne, and threw her into the corner and felt how she sidestepped, as we really were on the edge. Then full throttle again, and power sliding out on the next straight. I took a firm grip in the handlebars and squeezed my legs into the tank, not to get thrown of, as we flew over the jump and was airborne for several metres. She flexed and wriggled as we landed. We drove hard just, as we loved to do. In the middle of a corner, we almost crashed into a parked car; I didn’t even notice what it was, as we roared past it. Unfortunately the road, and ride, ended all to soon.

Happy laughing, epinephrine pumping and heart beating. I pulled over and patted the Buell lovingly on the tank. Then I saw the blue flashing light in the mirrors. Damned the lone car I passed in a corner was of course, with my usual luck, a patrol car. Annoyed I found my drivers licence and the papers on the Buell. “Didn’t you drive a little to fast young lady?” That voice, surprised I turned my head and looked into her cute, even though she did her best to look strict, she couldn’t hide a happy smiling face. Damned I forgot that it’s her district now. I wouldn’t be at least surprised if she’s been waiting hoping for me to come out here It’s no doubt about that she had fun, as she handed me the ticket.

No wonder that they call us the beauty and the beast I thought as she disappeared into the distance. Maybe I can get through that s-curve just a little faster, I thought and then with a laughter I turned around and raced back towards the town.

[skp2bear]

Beautiful my friend. But remember license has an 's' in it.

[Oak]

Beautiful my friend. But remember license has an 's' in it.

Thanks a lot sweetie. Glad that you like it. I'll change the licence to license right away- I've got a tendency to use all to many c's when I write in English.

[Oak]

This is my proposal for assignment one. I’m trying to describe my enthusiasm and joy with motorcycle riding – As it the absolute funniest thing a person can do on its own. Not much beats a wild ride on a sunny day.

1st Assignment; A wild ride.

Slowly I woke up and reached over to the other half of the bed, just to find the cold empty sheets. That’s right it’s only a few hours ago, I kissed her goodbye, as she had to work to day. As I wanted some kind of a ride, I got dressed, got into my gear and went down in the garage, where my other baby was waiting – my black Buell, as always ready for a ride. I checked oil, and how much gas there was on the tank. Turned the key and pressed the start button, noisy and vibrating the big V-twin came alive. I mounted her and with a last look at her Sporster, who almost looked sad and lonely, we drove out of the garage and through the still sleeping town.

After a slow, but quite nice ride, enjoying the morning wind and the nature around us. We arrived to our destination, our absolute favourite road. With its combination of tight and open turns, long straights, hills and jumps, it’s a dream come true and I often drove out here, just to let her run free and to feel the speed and the epinephrine kick. I gave gas and the V-twin roared under me and as I let go of the clutch, she jumped forwards, as a bull towards the matador, back-wheel spinning, fighting to get a grip, while I fought to prevent the front-wheel to rise to airborne. We raced up through the gears and were driving much faster than allowed when we came to the first corner, a sharp left. I braked hard; the rear wheel almost got airborne, and threw her into the corner and felt how she sidestepped, as we really were on the edge. Then full throttle again, and power sliding out on the next straight. I took a firm grip in the handlebars and squeezed my legs into the tank, not to get thrown of, as we flew over the jump and was airborne for several metres. She flexed and wriggled as we landed. We drove hard just, as we loved to do. In the middle of a corner, we almost crashed into a parked car; I didn’t even notice what it was, as we roared past it. Unfortunately the road, and ride, ended all to soon.

Happy laughing, epinephrine pumping and heart beating. I pulled over and patted the Buell lovingly on the tank. Then I saw the blue flashing light in the mirrors. Damned the lone car I passed in a corner was of course, with my usual luck, a patrol car. Annoyed I found my drivers license and the papers on the Buell. “Didn’t you drive a little to fast young lady?” That voice, surprised I turned my head and looked into her cute, even though she did her best to look strict, she couldn’t hide a happy smiling face. Damned I forgot that it’s her district now. I wouldn’t be at least surprised if she’s been waiting hoping for me to come out here, it’s no doubt about that she had fun, as she handed me the ticket.

No wonder that they call us the beauty and the beast I thought as she disappeared into the distance. Maybe I can get through that s-curve just a little faster, I thought and then with laughter I turned around and raced back towards the town.

[Aussiegirl1]

Thank you Oak, that was a ride wild indeed! lol

There are some things to correct. These will appear in red in the passage below. As Engish is not your first language, errors such as these are to be expected. What I did like was the flow of your piece and the ending. Well done


Slowly I woke up and reached over to the other half of the bed, just to find the cold empty sheets. That’s right it’s take out it's only a few hours ago, I had kissed her goodbye, as she had to work to day. As I wanted some kind of a ride, I got dressed, got into my gear and went down in the garage, where my other baby was waiting – my black Buell, as always ready for a ride. I checked oil, and how much gas there was on in the tank. Turned the key and pressed the start button, noisy and vibrating the big V-twin came alive. I mounted her and with a last look at her Sporster, who almost looked sad and lonely, we drove out of the garage and through the still sleeping town.

After a slow, but quite nice ride, enjoying the morning wind and the nature around us. comma not a full stop here and then a lower case w We arrived to at our destination, our absolute favourite road. With its combination of tight and open turns, long straights, hills and jumps, it’s a dream come true and I often drove out here, just to let her run free and to feel the speed and the epinephrine kick. I gave gas and the V-twin roared under me and put a full stop after me and make this sentence two sentencesas I let go of the clutch, she jumped forwards, as a bull towards the matador, back-wheel spinning, fighting to get a grip, while I fought to prevent the front-wheel to rise to airborne. We raced up through the gears and were driving much faster than allowed when we came to the first corner, a sharp left. I braked hard; the rear wheel almost got airborne, and threw her into the corner and felt how she sidestepped, as we really were on the edge. Then full throttle again, and power sliding out on the next straight. I took a firm grip in on the handlebars and squeezed my legs into the tank, not to get thrown of, as we flew over the jump and was airborne for several metres. She flexed and wriggled as we landed. We drove hard put the comma here, not after just just, as we loved to do. In the middle of a corner, we almost crashed into a parked car; I didn’t even notice what it was, as we roared past it. Unfortunately the road, and ride, ended all to soon.

Happy laughing, epinephrine pumping and heart beating. I pulled over and patted the Buell lovingly on the tank. Then I saw the blue flashing light in the mirrors. Damned the lone car I passed in a corner was of course, with my usual luck, a patrol car. Annoyed I found my drivers license and the papers on the Buell. “Didn’t you drive a little to too fast young lady?” That voice, exclamation mark here and then a capital S for surprised and then a commasurprised I turned my head and looked into her cute face , then make a new sentence starting with even , even though she did her best to look strict, she couldn’t hide a happy smiling face. Damned I forgot that it’s her district now. I wouldn’t be at least surprised if she’s she'd been waiting comma herehoping for me to come out here, it’s no doubt about that she had fun, as she handed me the ticket.

No wonder that they call us the beauty and the beast I thought as she disappeared into the distance. Maybe I can get through that s-curve just a little faster, I thought and then with laughter I turned around and raced back towards the town.

I would like you to please redo this piece and then I will give you your next task!

[Oak]

Thanks for the nice words. Glad that you like.

Some of the errors were "Yes of course"

Slowly I woke up and reached over to the other half of the bed, just to find the cold empty sheets. That’s right only a few hours ago, I kissed her goodbye, as she had to work to day. As I wanted some kind of a ride, I got dressed, got into my gear and went down in the garage, where my other baby was waiting – my black Buell, as always ready for a ride. I checked oil, and how much gas there was in the tank. Turned the key and pressed the start button, noisy and vibrating the big V-twin came alive. I mounted her and with a last look at her Sporster, who almost looked sad and lonely, we drove out of the garage and through the still sleeping town.

After a slow, but quite nice ride, enjoying the morning wind and the nature around us, we arrived at our destination, our absolute favourite road. With its combination of tight and open turns, long straights, hills and jumps, it’s a dream come true and I often drove out here, just to let her run free and to feel the speed and the epinephrine kick. I gave gas and the V-twin roared under me. As I let go of the clutch, she jumped forwards, as a bull towards the matador, back-wheel spinning, fighting to get a grip, while I fought to prevent the front-wheel to rise to airborne. We raced up through the gears and were driving much faster than allowed when we came to the first corner, a sharp left. I braked hard; the rear wheel almost got airborne, and threw her into the corner and felt how she sidestepped, as we really were on the edge. Then full throttle again, and power sliding out on the next straight. I took a firm grip on the handlebars and squeezed my legs into the tank, not to get thrown of, as we flew over the jump and was airborne for several metres. She flexed and wriggled as we landed. We drove hard just as we loved to do. In the middle of a corner, we almost crashed into a parked car; I didn’t even notice what it was, as we roared past it. Unfortunately the road, and ride, ended all to soon.

Happy laughing, epinephrine pumping and heart beating. I pulled over and patted the Buell lovingly on the tank. Then I saw the blue flashing light in the mirrors. Damned the lone car I passed in a corner was of course, with my usual luck, a patrol car. Annoyed I found my drivers license and the papers on the Buell. “Didn’t you drive a little too fast young lady?” That voice! Surprised, I turned my head and looked into her cute. Even though she did her best to look strict, she couldn’t hide a happy smiling face. Damned I forgot that it’s her district now. I wouldn’t be at least surprised if she’d been waiting, hoping for me to come out here, it’s no doubt about that she had fun, as she handed me the ticket.

No wonder that they call us the beauty and the beast I thought as she disappeared into the distance. Maybe I can get through that s-curve just a little faster, I thought and then with laughter I turned around and raced back towards the town.

[Aussiegirl1]

Thanks Oak for the quick rewrite.

Okay, the next task I would like you to do is write a dialogue between two people. The setting and the characters are up to you. Please write a short passage at the start explaining the circumstances surrounding the dialogue. Once again, this piece does not have to be erotic and should not be too long.

If you are not already aware, start each new speaker's dialogue on a new line. Also be careful with your use of punctuation marks and commas.

I look forward to seeing how you tackle this next assignment. Have fun!