As a sub, how do you say no respectfully?

[tessa]

I have learned through painful experience that the best way to say no, (which is really just expressing a particular difficulty over something you should be able to do - not a hard limit) is not to repress any feelings of discomfort or unease but to express them honestly and respectfully as they arise.

Yes! This exactly. No game playing, no bull crap- just open and honest communication. It works so well, yet not utilized nearly as much as it needs to be. Why is that?

The whole point of a BDSM interchange is that the Dom knows where the sub is at...

...so they can both become more with each other.

(I'm really hoping it's okay that I added to your brilliantly stated idea, Pearlgem?) .