Quote Originally Posted by rachel06 View Post
I have a question, though. Some of us have discussed how much some Dom/mes like it when something is hard for us and we do it anyway. So what happens, hypothetically, when those wills ARE perfectly aligned? Does it get boring?
The answer is yes, hypothetically. I can't believe I used to worry about this in the early days of my relationship. ''But Master, what if I never do anything you have to punish me for?" Those words should be tattooed on my backside! It just isn't possible!

In my relationship, we have little golden nuggets of interaction that seemed to us almost perfect. I was able to surrender, he got just what he wanted and we connected deeply and satisfyingly. These memories give me great pleasure and something to strive for that I know I can achieve again. But we are talking about real people here so it won't happen like this all the time and even if it did, he would then demand more. It's what Doms do, the bastards, never letting you rest on your laurels, always wanting more. I may be more distracted one day, not allowing him to orchestrate me in the way he would wish; what I achieve one day may be lessened or lost the next as different emotional conditions interplay - it's all in the mind and the vagaries of real humans interacting with each other. It's just not possible to be real in this world and perfect in the BDSM one. I find submission a letting go, yes, but it can take extraordinary effort on my part to do that. It's not for the faint hearted. To focus on him I have to work very hard, and bravely sometimes, to keep myself out.

Perhaps a better way of putting it would be to say I bring not my will but my willingness to please to him. I am sometimes not willing, to be honest (in little ways, little blocks I mean.) If I bring my genuine willingness and work hard to keep it focused on him, I can't actually fail, 'gold standard performance' or no. It's all he wants.