crime for punishment

[ickleimi]

My dom has requested I post this in here to ask on your typical crime and punishment for your subs.

What is it they did? What did you do? How did you chose?

[Nikon {sin}]

Are you in service to your Dom face-to-face or is this an online relationship?

[ickleimi]

online during week face to face at weekends

[star_sparkle]

can i ask for more of a background? what are the basic rules your Master expects of you? What does He never allow you to do?

[ickleimi]

been my master 2 weeks... not quite that far yet..

[star_sparkle]

then you should really sit down with your Master and find out his expectations first. What set rules and regulations you have. once you lay this down you can begin to discuss punishments to fit each situation. Some for deliberately breaking a rule and some for loss of control.each situation is unique and requires consideration before punishment. Every dom/sub couple is different.
Did you not set ground rules and limits and expectations before accepting His collar? Or are you still in the process?
As far as punishments go are you looking more for physical, humiliation, or demeaning tasks?
also a system should not always be based on punishments and crimes, it should also be based on the reward system as well for all of your accomplishments.

[annie]

He has been your Dom two weeks and you are being asked to post questions of this nature? Is he asking it so you learn or does he not have any experience as a dominate? And how did he become "your master" in two weeks without the basics being covered? How can you even serve him if you don't know what the expectations are?

I'm sorry, from the moment I initially read this thread red flags went up. The lack of details in the initial question was just one of many things. Plus, this with the other thread you posted sounded to me like you had a Dom who was either inexperienced (which isn't a bad thing but if he is then HE needs to do the learning and research as well!), lazy or both. Or, you were perhaps someone who was only interested in a quick erotic fix to have your jollies before moving on.

I don't know either of you but star's questions above are extremely valid and should be addressed before any type of crime/punishment is given. If, you are looking just for a quick roleplay/sex scene where the sub gets "punished" for some "mistake" then that needs to be clarified as well. There is a difference between the two.

[Mastrovenice]

I'll answer the question without posing another. My online slave has been on orgasm restriction but with the privilege of masturbating. As she recently came without permission, she now has been 'sentenced' to a week of 'hands off': meaning she can no longer touch herself. A simple example (plug: you can view her blog for a more detailed description of her punishment... Painslut4him).

Another 'crime' would be forgetting certain voice commands, meaning neglecting to thank her Master or use the appropriate honorific. The remedy for this might be for her to perform an exercise where she is required to ask for a physical punishment (say a crop stroke) and then thank her Master and apologize for the infraction.

Not that the above notes aren't relevant....

[denuseri]

I am wondering where is the responsable dominant seeking his own help instead of sending his subbie in to find the answers for him?

[Mastrovenice]

One more thought...

I have often tasked my slave to research specific topic relating to her Slavehood and BDSM.. from voice training to various chastity belts or hoods. I see nothing wrong with expanding my slave's mind thru such assignments. I don't consider myself a lazy Master and spend quite a bit of time researching these things myself. If a post reflects a desire to know, are we to question the motive or respond to the request for information. I agree with many of the sentiments expressed by the above respected responders, but don't want to play a game of second guessing the questioner.

[star_sparkle]

Maybe a better way to phrase the question ( if this was the case) whould be
" my Master has given me the task of finding punishments to fit the crime. He has his own ideas, but would like me to get ideas from others as part of my training." or something to that effect. Sometimes a little bit more information changes the flavor of the question.

[Madam]

(o.O)

While I can understand your Master giving you a task, or wanting you to research this, He really should be looking this up. Are you formally collared? ...because if you're not I'd think twice before going much further.

[Daddy54]

If I have Read this Thread Correctly; you have an Assignment to have Other Dom/Masters Give you Ideas for Punishment for having and Orgasm when Not Allowed to. This Question was Not because your Dom/Master is Lazy or a Wanna Be, but was Research for you to Get Ideas of How Other Subs/Slaves are Punished for the Same Offence. I See Nothing Wrong with your Master of 2 Weeks Asking you to Do Research as Long as you Know Before hand What His Punishment to you is Going to be, so you have Something to Compare the Punishments you Find Online to. If One of My Subs/Slaves has an Orgasm Without MY Permission, the Punishment is Always Different. 1st Time is 20 Lashes with the Whip of Their Choice. 2nd Time is 30 Lashes with Whip of MY Choice and Always Properly Count Each Lash. Hope this Helps. Good Luck on your Journey.

[SilverWulf]

< reads the post by Daddy54 and replaces My eyeballs... very, very hard to read when all the words are capitalized >

On that note ...

Every relationship requires a different approach.

If a girl is a pain slut, a thousand lashes with a whip will not change her behavior. If she gets off on humiliation, putting her in the corner the next time company comes over probably won't have any effect. If a girl is not allowed on the computer, she'll be elsewhere doing something else she probably enjoys. Putting her in the corner all alone to think about what she has done ... after 30 seconds she's going over next weeks grocery list and waiting for her time to be up.

Over the years I've found that the best punishments have always been the most subtle. Looking her in the eye and stating in a firm voice 'you have disappointed Me greatly' is amazingly powerful. Saying 'get out of My sight' is enough to cause a potentially serious mental meltdown in a girl if you have any sort of deep connection with her at all.

Here's an idea: Choose and train the girl properly in the first place. Keep your expectations reasonable. Take circumstance into consideration. Replace punishment with discipline and further training to truly change a behavior or correct a failure.

If a girl is constantly failing and constantly needs punishment, who is the one that is really at fault?

[openlyrefined]

I am wondering where is the responsable dominant seeking his own help instead of sending his subbie in to find the answers for him?

I often look online for my Sir as He has more important things to do. I find it an easy way to please him & saves more of his time for *me*

Of course sometimes I wish he would do the research himself, but for something like this, it's not my place to
question him on such trivial issues

I ask the questions & he reads the responses. This is an arrangement that seems to work for us & perhaps for ickleimi too?


As for crime & punnishment,

My dom has requested I post this in here to ask on your typical crime and punishment for your subs.

What is it they did? What did you do? How did you chose?

I am frequently late. One thing we have found quite effective (as I hate pain) is 1 spank/paddle/etc of his choice for every minute I am late.

also, I often forget things and, as mentioned above, one of the worst punnishments is when my Dom voices his disappointment. There is nothing that can make me feel worse than knowing I have let Him down & have not served Him fully to his expectations. This could also result in a beating, or the silent treatment (I hate this onee to!) depending on what it was that I forgot.

[openlyrefined]

oopsie! posted twice

[openlyrefined]

I have to wonder where the negativity is coming from?

many masters make requests like this, and it's not as though they are not reading the answers. In situations like this, it's both the Dom & the subs responsibility to ask questions & research things that are not known to them.

Why should it solely be the Dom's responsibility to find answers that neither party knows the answer to?

(o.O)

While I can understand your Master giving you a task, or wanting you to research this, He really should be looking this up. Are you formally collared? ...because if you're not I'd think twice before going much further.

What does researching information per a Dom's request have to do with being collared?

#1 - it would be foolish to allow someone to collar you with such basic knowledge of the BDSM lifestyle
#2 - the person doing the research should be dependant on the dynamic of the relationship.
#3 - ickleimi's Dom may have been wanting *her* to research different punishments for her own reference to see what she may or may NOT like.
#4 - ickleimi & her Dom may both be new & looking to forums for answers & suggestions.

Without knowing each person individually or the specific dynamic of their relationship, I do not think it's fair to put down her Dom for making her do the research (many of us have to) nor question his ability to collar her when we don't know what makes their kink work for them.

Researching info like this could be used as a tool for both parties. If she Likes the crop as a punishment, He should look into why - because she loves it or hates it? All new subs should research what they may or may not like so their Dom knows how best to proceed with their sub based on *their* needs.


Remember ickleimi,
your needs are just as important as his.
If you are questioning his requests, I think you should direct your concerns to Him directly. Forums are great to get ideas & a general consensus of ideas, etc., but no one but You & Him can possibly know what works best for your relationship and if he is a caring Dom, he will be open & receptive to your questions & concerns.


best of luck,
~ openlyrefined

[OMGLOOKAKITTY]

As a Dom, I don't see the issue here. Maybe that labels me as an irresponsible Dom to some, but let me phrase this in a Devil's Advocate way.

Let's say ickleimi's Dom asked her to do this to learn aspects of the topic herself. What harm comes from this? Does this make him lazy or inept? No one knows the reasons for him asking this.

Maybe he wanted to teach her how to effectively search for information on the internet. Maybe through this task, there would be other lessons learned.

Just because he's only been her Dom for two weeks doesn't ring any bells in my mind. Sounds like he's being pretty darn responsible by taking things slowly. How else can one learn than by either experiencing or gathering information from others. As openlyrefined pointed out above, maybe ickleimi is so new in the whole BDSM world that she doesn't know what works and what doesn't work for her.

Reading what others experienced does not mean that she will also experience the same things, nor does it mean that she will be interested in those experiences. All it means is that she is becoming more knowledgeable in a facet of life where she might not be.

And in the end, isn't gaining knowledge the whole point of this forum in the first place? I understand that long term "residents" of this forum might be weary because what is being given doesn't fit their ideals of BDSM, but arguing against someone LEARNING? Sad.