aligning your will to His

[Pearlgem]

Pearlgem, I am going to apologize in advance: I'm sitting in bed, cup of cocoa in hand (the kind with the tiny marshmallows floating in it, even), and I've really nothing to do for several hours. These conditions are prime for a Downtown Amber rambling response. We could be here for awhile...

Mmm...Budge up and share a few sips.

You certainly nailed a lot here in your usual brilliant Downtown way, Amber.

Submission, for me, is a chemical reaction. Put oil and a spark together, you're going to get a fire that will burn on and on under the right conditions. That's the goal - a good hot flame that flares up or tones down, but still provides the warmth we require.

This is a wonderful, illuminating metaphor, in my opinion.

That doesn't happen unless the proper reactants and catalysts exist on both sides, and that surrounding conditions allow for the reaction to occur. The fact that we are submissive simply doesn't trump all other reality.

I would absolutely agree with you here, Amber, and that's the way I want it. But we are submissive even without a Dom so it's also something inside us and not just what we do. Being on here has taught me a little about other approaches to BDSM. Many are very into play/BDSM practices and although they may be ultimately looking for 'The One', they'll happily act out BDSM dynamics in dungeons and whatnot. Honestly I don't think that'll ever be for me, although I don't judge others. BDSM only makes sense to me because I've found someone significant to be submissive to. I would not stop feeling submissive inside myself if I didn't have this relationship, but vanilla life, as it always did and does, would go on regardless.

God I certainly hope I've had at least the occasional vanilla moment in my life...lol Can I back out of this uber sub competition please? Frankly, it scares me.

Lol, sure, as long as we agree that older, latecoming subs are wonderful too, let's leave it at that!

Hmm. I had seventeen really good replies to this, but it simply comes down to this for me: as we as submissives align our will, so do the Doms to us. We travel paths as people, like rivers flowing. We flow where obstacles dictate at times, at others we cut and erode our own way through the landscape. And sometimes, sometimes we merge to flow with another.

Lovely. You have such a way with words, Amber, and great wisdom.

The D/s exchange boils down to me choosing a man I wish to posses me, not just the choice to be possessed for the sake of it. He chooses me for the sake of me, not just to posses. As multi-textured people of depth, not each and every facet of our relationships will always fit perfectly and that's really really okay. In fact, it's not just really okay, it's simply "real."

That's exactly what I strive for, Amber. Thank you. I wish us both good luck and happiness. x x