To quote Madeleine Albright, "I was a late starter, but that's why I made an effort to catch up on what I had missed...it took me twenty-five years to, in the end, succeed over night".

When I first came here...it was a shock on my system. I had years of researching BDSM behind me, but this was my first direct contact with "real" people, and foolishly I wrote that into my profile and some took that to mean I was free game...I got a LOT of unsolicited "schooling" about everything I did "wrong", how wrong I was, how I wasn't true submissive...basically a lot of talking down to and attempts to recruit me into different BDSM "cliques" and philosophies....part of it was my fault because I expected BDSM'ers to be more liberal (today that makes me LMAO ) so I had made myself vulnerable.
Anyway, I toughened up (thanks to some wonderful friends I made here) and I don't let things bother me...actually they simply don't anymore...and I think that comes from meeting someone who shares and understands my philosophy...it was comforting to meet a normal guy (who just happens to be a brilliant Dom, *wg*) and even if things don't work out for us, he has become one of my dearest friends.

My point being (yes, I actually have one, sorry for rambling LOL)...for me this is no longer about exploring BDSM (i.e. trying to find "the way"), it is about exploring myself. BDSM is an individual journey, its about the distance traveled more then it is about how you "stack up" to someone else.

Personally, the older I get the younger I feel. (long story behind that, LOL)...and why I find your stories and this thread so inspirational.

Another thing is...40, 50, 60, even 70 is not the same as it was for our grandparents or parents. We live differently, we live in a different social climate, we age differently....so you are exactly where you need to be. What is grown up anyway?

Einstein in a letter to Otto Juliusburger wrote: "People like you and I, though mortal of course like everyone else, do not grow old no matter how long we live...[We] never cease to stand like curious children before the great mystery into which we were born." Perhaps we are the same in regards to BDSM.

Or as good old Coco (Chanel) used to say, "A woman has the age she deserves."

Though my favorite must be (yep, I have a one track mind ): Pearl S. Buck, "You can judge your age by the amount of pain you feel when you come in contact with a new idea." I mean really,...*ggl*.