When subs get into that "I'm a slave and you're a bottom so I'm more real than you," or, "I was born with a silver tray in my hand, ready to serve coffee," I don't think it's really meant as a reflection on you as much as a statement of who they are. I think they're saying, this isn't a changeable attribute of myself such as haircolor, that could alter but I'd be the same person. This is so much a part of who I am that I can't begin to imagine being any different, ever. I get this some in my religion - there's a fair amount of comparing and judging who's better/more dedicated/more fanatical/more zealous in observance, and again, I've come to realize that all that means is, this is very important to me and I can't imagine doing it any other way.

So maybe take some of this "competition" with a grain of salt. I suppose it would be great to be that sure of yourself (*whispers* - if they were THAT sure would they need to be so hard-assed about it?) but some of us like to entertain ambiguities. Maybe, like religious observance, if you come to it when you're older it's never quite as ingrained as it would be if you'd grown up with it, but you also know that you've examined things clearly and that your choices really reflect your own situation and your own needs.