hi all,
just my 2 cents on things in this post, which, btw i love! but i do have a very rambling and confusing writing style so if it makes no sense, thats expected.

i am quite a lot younger than what seems to be the majority of people using this thread so my opinions do come from a somewhat younger viewpoint. i havent always know i was submissive, i prided myself in being a "strong woman" (in fact the first time i had a convo with a dom i said i thought i would only be a sub, not a slave because i wanted to make something of myself, i now realise this so isnt the point!) but when i look back on it, certain things add up and in retrospect i can see it making sense. i also, am not always "pleasing, giving and willing", far from it i can be grumpy and bitchy a lot of the time but i also do love to please, i love to help people, but on the otherhand nor am i "strong, feisty, challenging, just waiting for a Dom strong enough to tame" me. i am myself, i, like pearlgem dont fall into either of these categories, although some may disgaree.

I never let myself be submissive to the outside world so to speak i can be quite promiscuous in a very very mild way, but nor am i strong, fiesty etc, i believe i will go far, i am determined to go far, get to the top of my profession, be the best i can be but i am neither one or the other, i do as the situation demands.

so aligning your will to his seems to me an excellent way to put it, it may not be your will as such but as was said, he has needs, you need to fulfill his needs. some psychologist or other did a study where it was found that it wasnt the ammount of things that you had in common that meant the relationship statistically lasted longer, it was if the two people involved had need satisfaction from the other person.

its not easy i will agree with that, i dont think anyone can deny that, even though my relationship with my master is online its still hard, i find myself having to bite my tongue, i will say what i think most of the time, but its learning when to not argue with something he has said, i am learning if hes said it, it will be done unless it is a limit for me, or i start using safewords, in his words, if its not a hard limit, its not your choice.

i have a strong will, i will do what i believe to be right, never will i go back on what i think is right, in a D/s sitation or completly vanilla, i have my morals, i have my opinions. so theres this determined young woman, as pearlgem also said/asked, how am i submissive? well theres the other side of me, who loves to please, loves to be praised, absoloutly loves to be told "good girl, im proud of you", there are insecurities that are below the surface that by being subby are bought to the surface, countered, challenged, im learning, not to be a different person, just learning to be me and with that, my outgoing side has come out more, i dont know how but it has.

im finding myself doing things i never thought i would do, not nescessarily because i always wanted to and never got round to it, but because master asks it of me, i give it a go, i try all i can, and when i achieve something i never thought i would, im proud of myself. in a way its a new way to challenge myself, to prove i can do things that i didnt think i could, which is, in my opinion how it relates to me being confident, outgoing and wayyyy to determined and i know i will get what i want from my life. bringing out my submissive side, has made me more determined, its made me realise that you can achieve most things.

so a pretty rambling post, that is in some way related and in some ways not. the thing that stood out to me in this post was that so many were saying submitting isnt easy, i always thought something was a bit off because i dont always find it easy, quite the opposite in fact, its hard, its challenging, yet i know its what i want, what i crave, what i need so why is something you need and want so badly such hard work? it makes no sense but having just had a complete and utter flip out, and having a few days off so to speak, im realising i need the domination, but to different degrees of submitting at different points in my life, although it may be so hard at the moment, i cant even begin to comprehend getting back to the D/s bit, i know its something i have to work through because i know its what i want.


so that answered no questions, probably made no sense and is a big long ramble, but this thread made so much sense to me that i had to chip in with my (very hard to understand) 2 cents.

emma x