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  1. #1
    Recalcitrant Decadence
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    MI
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    Hard Casual Play Repercussions

    I played much harder than I have in the past with a casual play partner last night, and today I find that I am extraordinarily 1.) moody and 2.) clingy. I'm not actually displaying that I feel clingy towards him-- I've actually made a point to check in and say hi but not go any further than that. I've never had an experience where I've played and then felt like this after. Any clues as to what's up, and how to get over it? Thanks.
    Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. ~Confucius

  2. #2
    princess
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Northern New Jersey
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    14,835
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    9
    Does he know its causal play? are there any chances of a LTR with this person? if there are maybe you got an emotion or two mixed up, and maybe feeling abit deeper then you thought you would have? Maybe you see something in this person then you had in the others and might want to experience more, you said that this is abit harder play then ususal.

    ive played one time and felt the same way and it was causal play, i needed to separate my true feelings for that person and chilax. For me there wasnt any other then a play partner but maybe for you their might be, but becareful!

  3. #3
    sr
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    wmv n.h.
    Posts
    29
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    Hi pineapple,
    Sounds to me like you went from "sub space" to "sub drop" really quickly. I have been there and know exactly what you are talking about. My Mistress has found a way to bring me down real slowly and sort of clear my head. Some call it "after care".
    I love the floaty feeling I have afterwards but Lady K always makes sure I'm okay and back on the ground before W/we move on.

  4. #4
    Claims to know it all...
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Manchester
    Posts
    1,219
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    I agree with the poster above. I also beleive it is entirely possible that the harder you play the harder you fall. Certainly seems this way in your case.

    Play releases endorphins and other hormones and neurotransmitters which cause pleasure sensations. When they go from the system they cause withdrawl (bear in mind most drugs are variants of hormones or neurotransmitters, work out the rest for your self...). The more of the drug you take, the higher the pleasure and the greater the come down...

    Hugs may help...

  5. #5
    Happy
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    The frozen north
    Posts
    8,196
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    This is only my opinion...

    I think that the less emotional involvement, the harder the drop. The level of play is less important than the level of involvement.

    My Owner and I play hard when we're together. For several days in a row, several times a day. Yet when I go home I have no drop. That's because I have, at every moment, felt safe and completely connected to Him.
    Working too much....and unfortunately not online as much as I'd like.

  6. #6
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Scotland, UK
    Posts
    51
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    I very often feel clingy after a scene, but I've never had a casual scene in r/l so this post probably won't be of much help. I find hugs and care help a lot, and without this 'aftercare' I get moody and upset for often days after.
    Chin up.

  7. #7
    Dragoness
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    285
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    I have to agree with the others - certainly sounds like subdrop to me
    I will never cower before any Master
    Nor bend to any threat


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