Well, I wasn't out of my head with lust, but there were some other things going on. Being safe, and this isn't just about the condom, but just in general, can be awkward and embarrassing sometimes. Insisting on a full name and address can feel weird, refusing to take someone in your car, that kind of thing, especially when you're attracted enough to think of having sex with the person. I mean, you know it's safe and sane and all that, but in terms of feeling there is a disconnect.

So after the whole condom thing I gave this a lot of thought, and here's what I came up with. It sounds sanctimonious, again, but this is just my take on it and what I learned for myself. Rules aren't for when they clearly apply. If you're with someone and think, oops, this is really someone I don't want in my car, or whatever, then you don't need a rule to tell you what to do. You already know. Rules are for when they DON'T clearly apply. For the super-nice guy who says he's clean. For the hot guy that you want to impress too much to ask to see his ID before you fuck him. Those are the times when you want to argue with the rule, to say, this is a special case and the rule doesn't apply here. And for me, I've decided, no. I thought of these safety rules when I was focused and aware and knew that things aren't always what they seem, or why would we need them? So I will always follow my rules, no exceptions, because if I have to rethink them every time, then they're not rules, they're just good ideas.

Since that thing with the condom I've been able to stick to this. It's been awkward sometimes, and of course in retrospect it's felt wholly unnecessary because I've never actually been with someone dangerous and scary, but even though I've been tempted to forego a rule at the time, I've never looked back and thought, oh, I wish I'd been LESS safe.

I hope I'm not hijacking your thread. I know that SSC usually refers to how you play, and not how you get there, but to me these things are basic and more important, in a way, than how stringent the bondage is.