Look, it's like every other kind of relationship: you have to meet to know if it's going to work. If you don't, you're being a fool. Pardon the bluntness, lol.

I met T here on the site, in the chatroom to be exact. When we were ready to meet in r/l, we did so, in a public place. Gave us both an out. Then we spent the weekend together to see if there was chemistry, but spent about 50% of it in public spaces, where there was always an ability to leave or get help if needed (there wasn't, but you get the point). After that, we progressed to multiple days at a time together... then a week... then a couple of weeks... Then we seperated for a bit for reasons beyond our control, but that was actually a blessing. We realized how much we loved eachother & wanted to be together. When we were back in geographic range, we spent another few days together at various intervals to ensure we were still "right" for eachother. THEN we moved in together.

And when we moved in together... it wasn't all beatings, all the time. There's r/l issues that occur when 2 adults move in together: jobs, outside responsibilities, families, etc. You can't just live in a vortex or a vaccum--you have to take care of business! Sure, there was plenty of time for fun, but we had to dance a bit to really find the rhythm that worked for us.

So the road to be together wasn't easy or simple... it never is if it's worth it. Sure, you'll know whether or not you LIKE someone after a short period together in r/l... but anyone can keep up a facade for a short time... they can't do it forever. Better you know the truth about eachother, even the little things, BEFORE you take that leap to move in with eachother rather then after.

And if there are kids involved... do NOT even get me started. Your kids should come first & your sex life second. I'll leave it at that for now.

Any good Dom would go SLOWLY. What the hell is the big rush?? You & he aren't going anywhere if you're meant for eachother... and if the time it takes to really go slowly & do it right causes you to seperate, then you weren't really meant for eachother anyway, were you?

This post isn't meant to be critical of anyone or their relationship, just my thoughts & my experiences... so don't be offended... this is just my viewpoint. It isn't The Law on relationships... Everyone does things differently, this is just my way.

Just some food for thought.