Originally posted by Lord Douche
I'm not planning to try my hand at a different style of writing. And I was not throwing confetti into the air! I thought it was an interesting style, nothing more.

Not to disparage everyone's wonderful advice, but I was looking more for some opinions on my story rather than ideas on how to improve my writing skills.
Thanks to Fox and Alex for their replies
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I'm sorry. I was speaking in very general terms in reply to Fox's comments about reading and Aurelius' comment about sentence fragments. My remarks and suggestions were not meant as a criticism of your writing.

Sorry if I hijacked the thread.

Boccaccio