How did you find out about BDSM?

[Timberwolf]

How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle?

In terms of an exposure that told me anything concrete, online stories from a site I guess I probably shouldn't name here.

What was its appeal to you?
At first, none to be honest. It didn't hook me right away. FemDom seemed "scary" (I ran into too much masochism and sadism for my tastes even now), and I wasn't confident enough in myself yet to connect with MaleDom characters.

I didn't really get into it until I started chatting with a specific Domme, who I was also becoming fast friends with. I still chat to her when I can, and she's helped me explore at least the submissive side of me a great deal.


What misconceptions did you have of BDSM before you began that have been changed now?
Let's see: everyone wears leather all the time, whips the hell out of each other, and all sorts of other silly ideas. I've honestly forgotten a lot of it by now, thankfully. The one other big one I had at the time was that ANYONE and EVERYONE in the BDSM or D/s scene was either a sadist or a masochist, which is obviously not the case. Once I discovered there was a lot more of a power exchange only side to things if you wanted it to be that way, I began finding my comfort zones.

What do you hope to learn/teach/pass on to others about BDSM?
What I want to learn: hard question. As much as I can. Tech or pass on: just hopefully finding others to enjoy the process of learning and experience with, and if I could encourage a newbie or two along the way that just being yourself is the best thing you can ever learn to do, so be it.


Do you consider yourself a "lifestyler" or just an occasional player?
An occasional player looking to become much more.

What do you enjoy about being dominant/submissive?
As a switch I get to answer twice.
Dominant: I enjoy the mental challenge associated with it to be honest. I find being a sub (for the right person anyway) easier, but I also am learning to take control, and there's a lot of responsibility that comes with trying to be a good Dom. It's a challenging role, but I enjoy the challenge.

Sub: I've always loved pleasing a partner. It's probably what opened the door to me experimenting with submission to begin with. And also, in both a D or s role, enjoy power exchange a lot, and giving over power to the right someone else... I love it. It holds a certain intoxication to it.

(Slightly edited to expand my answer on misconceptions I used to have.)