I like to know their limits, but truth be told, I use the checklist more for getting some hints to their likes and fantasies. I pay more attention to the fours and fives than to the No-No items.

I answer questions about the terms not understood. IF I happen to see a four or five that is one of my limits, I warn them that I don't do that kind of play... because as nice as having a new partner can be... if they're not going to be satisfied as well, it is going to be a lukewarm relationship.

I also make sure they are comfortable and understand that I am married and that relationship is inviolate... Again, better to be up front. The occassional early walk-away is worth not having to go through a painful break-up later. I also want to know if they are in the same situation or not.

Occassionally it is not that formal... and I've found myself at play with someone I've only just met... perhaps a party... perhaps just a lot of chemistry. On those occassions, much of the play is in the form of demonstrating the subtler aspects and slowly discovering limits by tantalizing and teasing them verbally about what I'm going to do next... and gauging the reaction as we work up to it.