Quote Originally Posted by satisfied View Post
What are some of the things that you discussed with your submissive before you agreed to take on the responsiblity of accepting their submittance (real word?), in all things, without argument? What would be some things that you would tell a new Dom to make sure they found out before hand?
I like to have as much information on hand before we meet. Gathering it usually takes place over time in chat/email/phone and always includes having a questionnaire filled out. I'm quite happy to share mine with them as well so they know where my mind is at (surprisingly, there are some who do not ask for this). From this document I can usually tell what their hard and soft limits are and what things are more or less of interest to them. Even more important is information regarding health issues, including past experiences negative and positive, injuries, STDs, etc. It is the non-sexual stuff that can really trip you up unexpectedly, so its important to be aware of emotional health as well.

I like to use this document (the questionnaire) when we first play, just to re-cap limits and to bring up some techniques or play that may not have been discussed. It can be fun to structure this as an 'interrogation', but its important to not get too far into it as a scene so the sub feels safe to discuss things before getting too deep into her role. I will 'over-negotiate' on the first meeting, meaning no immediate play without discussion.

As to the specifics of your question, I want to talk to them about pain, bondage, and humiliation, and their specific limits and attractions involving these areas. Of course negotiation can be an endless circle, so at some point its time to shut-up and do.