Male submissives

[IAN 2411]

In my limited experience of 2 years, I have found that most of the male "submissives" are actually fetish bottoms. They don't actually want to "submit" to anything other than their ideal of a female dominant wearing the appropriate fetish costume and, as jeanne pointed out, who follows some kind of scripted fantasy the bottom wants fulfilled. The "dominant" is nothing more than their life-sized blow-up doll....a masturbatory sex object. When these supposedly submissive males are asked what they will do to please their dominants, it's always something like "lick your feet" (foot fetish, anyone?) or "service you orally" (um..yeah...'cause I'm not fucking you after I spit cheese all over you....sorry). This is why pro-doms exist, otherwise known as dominatrices. Pay me a couple hundred dollars, and I'll be glad to put on a blonde wig, corset, and thigh-high boots and let you "worship" my feet. hahahahahahaha

Thankyou for that discription, i love it.

I wrote in this thread before the crash, and I have just read all the posts to refresh my mind. I have to admit that I only joined this site just less than four months ago. In that time I have written a few posts, and read many threads, I have always been interested in BDSM, but unlike many I have failed to participate on a regular basis. There are many types of male submissive, and I too have noticed that many that post their first post are never seen again. I think that you have to blame that on magazines, and the type of books that I write, because the males are all young, and are all looking for a Fem/Dom. They are all looking for that beautiful Fem/Dom with the hour glass figure and the long blonde hair, it is not BDSM they are after it is lust, but anyone that knows anything about women, and reads the adverts in those magazines, that there is a painful price to pay just to get close to them. I also believe that if they all got what they were asking of the Fem/Dom just once, 80% would never be seen outside their house let alone on a BDSM site ever again.

I am a sub but nothing special, I was a Master at my work and respected by my peers during the day, but at night I was the opposite. My wife died 18 months ago, and although it was a vanilla marriage, even now I’m not sure if we were not playing a game with each other, and without the other knowing. I would do all she asked and without question, I would let her win the argument even when she was wrong. She would strike out with her hand if something was done wrong; I dared to show my feelings for fear of another strike. She would screw a jaw, or give a little jab, but there was always room for love afterwards. Her eyes never left me when at weddings and parties; I would always look around and see her smiling at me, jealousy, possessiveness, or protectiveness? She made the decisions and she made the plans, there was never shall we, or can we? It was always we are and we can, and I let her do it, she was domineering and I was her sub, and if she said get down and kiss my ass I would have done it, well she had a very nice ass. Just to throw a little more light, there was BDSM before ever I married her 31 years ago. If these young subs had to come in with their real name, instead of a username, they would have a little more respect for the Domms they are talking too, a person can only gain respect by giving respect.

I am not sure if all men are bad communicators, but I am with women and always have been. I fear them a little, and mostly because they can hurt by just verbally chastising. A woman or girl could never hurt me physically to the extent I would not want to see them again, but verbally they are awesome, and having said that my first wife could always bring tears to my eyes. Some things that women and girls have said to me over the years have hurt, and some that have done it unintentionally I have avoided for a long time afterwards. Yes I go into chat and sometimes I participate and sometime I just listen, and there are more female subs than male, but who gives a damn, I don’t? I go there because being there makes me feel liberated from the vanilla world, and the company is sound. I don’t think anyone thinks a male sub is a freak, apart from someone in the vanilla community, but what sub is going to tell them his secret anyway?

Regards Ian

[FirstBorn]

I have labeled myself a Dom/switch for my profile here.
Not that im a huge fan of labels really, i dont take pride or feel shame in having fantasies about dominating or submitting even when the topics turn to rape and permanent injury.
I have a lot more experience dominating than submitting, moreso than my fantasies would indicate but not to an extend where i feel i have to seek out a Domme no matter the costs (cash or emotional).

Really the sub in me is not looking for a godess or anything pretentius like that. I dont play that way as a Dom and dont want to as a sub. Come to think of what id really like is to be on the reciving end of a female version of my Dom self for a little while. I cant buy that and rarely get to talk to Dommes that i feel i have common ground with.

I did get in trouble commenting on the 21 replies a Domme in the personals got. I felt i was being polite and helpful but apparently others didnt and im sorry for that.

My comment was something to the effect, that she got plenty of offers from males apparently trying to be as generic and adaptable as possible. Im not saying theyr not allowed to be that way or that she shouldnt accept someone like that. But thats not what i look for in a sub and its not what i want to be for a Domme.

The point is slightly lost now with my post deleted and me living in europe only considering an online relationship anyways. But those were my five cents.

[VicSub]

I really like this post. I am very new to this forum, and was at first surprised that there was a lack of female dommes in the dom looking for subs thread.

It is my personal belief that life is all about balance. In my public life, due to the profession I have chosen, I have to be a very dominate, go getting personality. I find it very exhausting and have to have some me time (for a better term). In my last relationship I had a girlfriend that was very dominate in the bedroom but somewhat submissive in public life. This is how I found out how enjoyable it was to give some one else control.

Now I have decided to take the journey to discover this side of my life.

I know I have my fantasies, through reading the stories in the library. But it is my belief that to fully enjoy my submissive side I have to give up my needs to someone else. I hope that this website will help me do this.