up front i have to tell you i am dyslexic. so excuse my spelling. collered or not a sub gives them self and that is not to be taken lightly. define for your selfs what it meas. tell non bdsm frends it is specal between you and yours. and then smile. it should make you feel safe if you and yours have agreed on what it means. it can be as powerfull as you want. above all enjoy it.