I would agree.

The notion of "pay it forward" somehow has gotten lost as Lifestyle has moved strictly from real life into an online world as well, and the lines between the two have begun to get fuzzier. No longer is it the case, as it once was predominately in the Old School culture, that Doms and subs are both mentored, or that there is a general spirit of "paying it forward" with the knowledge you learned and gained from others and through your experiences.

Now, it is generally all about either "me me me me meeeeee" or "I want it NOW!" --both attitudes which have only proliferated through the 'nets. Partially, it's just the general shift in human culture and societies, as we move into a more technological age, and people are attached to their iPhones or Blackberrys, and want everything at their fingertips. Part of it also is that the younger generation (admittedly, partially my generation) has this bizarre feeling of "entitlement" in general, and for some reason doesn't have a real feeling of needing to work towards a goal, or something they want. Now, granted, these are very large generalities, and many people are exceptions to the rule, but the trends are clear: the tides have shifted.

I have been on this site for almost five years now, and I can say this for sure: all sites are similar, in that you only get back as much as you put into it. As Admins, Torq and I are striving to develop this site into a place where people feel like they are members of a community and can exchange information and ideas. However, it only works as well as people make it work--everyone has to put forth some effort by sharing their information and knowledge. That can be a hard request to make of people who often find themselves jaded after many bad online experiences, or many poor experiences elsewhere on other sites. Additionally, it's often hard to push oneself to share and mentor others when people seem a tad... "flighty"... in their commitment to learning. As such, we've worked to make a lot of areas that people can do a lot of self-discovery: The Tasking Society, A-Z, the Q & A sections, the Womb. And we're always open to other ideas people have to improve both the site & the community here.

I understand the reluctance of those who are more "experienced" to participate in the Forums discussions or in chat sometimes because they may perceive newbies to be "naive" or "crazy." But I also would appeal to folks' memories: remember, you too were new once... and you too sought out a safe place to find information. Not ALL information you find is useful, beneficial, or good. True. But that's part of the process: you intake the information that's useful, sift out the garbage, and put the little kernals of knowledge into your knapsack for a later use.

As for the personals & seeking mates... well... like anywhere in the world, I would say this: people are always seeking other people. You aren't ever going to find an online or real life community of completely "hooked up" couples. But I urge EVERYONE to make sure that they continue on their journey of self-discovery as well as looking for a mate. It is extremely important to find yourself, and your place and role in Lifestyle, and know who you are, just as much as it's important to find a partner. And, for those still seeking a partner... never give up. You never know when or where you will find a partner. It often isn't a matter of spamming 1000 people. It's a matter of a deliberative, patient, long term search. Some are luckier than others and find their partner quickly. But don't give up--the right match for you is out there--hang in there.

Above all else, I urge EVERYONE to continue to learn, grow, and enjoy the journey they find themselves on. Far too often, people think they "have learned it all" and end up stagnant and bored. Don't be like that. If you are bored and looking for something, approach an Admin (Torq or I)--there's always a way for folks to help out on the site--we can always use help in some way. Giving back to the community here is always a good way to "pay it forward," and often is a good way for those who can't give back in r/l.

Again, great post, TLW. I hope everyone thinks it over.