New to BDSM

[sweetierose]

So I am new to this whole thing, and am looking to more information, someone to talk to... I am shy at first, which makes jumping in somewhat challenging. If there is any advice one could offer me I would gladly take it.

[Buttons.the.kitty]

Hello and welcome! I'd suggest starting out by doing as much reading as you can possibly stand to do...there is a plethora of information to be found online and it will help you start to sort out what sounds good to you and what doesn't. This library is a great resource; two other sites I've found very helpful are these:

http://www.seekers.org.uk/
http://www.xeromag.com/fvbdsm.html

I'd also suggest trying to find if there is a group you can join that meets locally...most BDSM groups have munches - informal get togethers for coffee or lunch - so you can get to know people in the community casually without any sort of sexual pressure or expectations. Just try googling "bdsm group [name of your city/province/county/state/whatever]". I'd also recommend joining fetlife.com - it's a social networking site, like facebook for kinksters. I've met several wonderful people in my town through that site.

Though of course a word of caution to go along with that - you do need to be careful meeting people for the first time in real life, definitely start out with the casual coffee or lunch meetings in public places before deciding to play with anyone or go over to their house or something, no matter how exciting it may be to meet other people with these same interests. Also, with FetLife, as far as I can tell there aren't any privacy settings so whatever you post on your profile can be and is viewable to ANYONE. So just be aware of that.

Good luck and be safe! I'm quite new to all of this as well, but feel free to send me a PM if you want to chat or have any other questions.

[fetishdj]

Make as much use of this site as you need - ask questions, review and search the existing threads and so on. There are a lot of experienced people here and they are all willing to help.

[sexy45]

Hi and Welcome to the library sweetierose!!!!!!!!!

[wyldrose]

i don't have as many years of experience in the Lifestyle as some others here do, but i'm always available to listen and help wherever possible.
wishing you all the best, rose.

[kyosai7]

Yeah, we're all happy to help ya out whenever you need it! Feel free to send me a PM and I'll try to help ya out as best I can

[Ozme52]

If there is any advice one could offer me I would gladly take it.

Yes, especially as there are a lot of new threads that are excellent examples.

So as you read about some of us who have wonderful relationships... for most of us, it took a lot of time and effort to find and make these relationships.

As you read about some of us who have had horror shows, unpleasent surprises, and are somewhat disillusioned... for most of us, we rushed in too fast or with blinders on.

Certainly not all (either way) nor only the extreme cases, there are all levels from glorious to dispicacble, and all lengths of courtships from hours to years...

But in general, take your time!!

[chellebelle]

my interest in bdsm is almost lifelong, however ive only been active for 3 years or so. my best advice to you is to keep your head high, be proud of who you are, and cherish everything that comes your way.

[XianxiWONG]

hello, I am a new comer. I am a Chinese bitch.

[WolfLeader]

Take your time and before meeting any one get to know them by pm and when you do decide to meet do so publicly and set a safe call with a friend that knows where you are going and who you are to meet. And best the first time or times just socialize not play or go other than the meeting place for your own safety. You will hear this over and over again but is the best advice. Only do what you are comfortable with.

[horny4heat]

hi to all.

[learningtopleez]

But in general, take your time!!

that is the best piece of info you can get, especially when it comes to participating in this lifestyle for real!! also reading, as others mentioned and asking lots and lots of specific questions if you don't see an answer to a question you have. there is a BDSM 101 section full of threads right here on this site that may answer some of the question you have, and a search button to look for something you may not see right away. i first started (almost 6 years ago now)by reading the stories posted here, and depending on my reaction to the stories that gave me an idea of what i might or might not like IF i ever tried anything for real!!

expect to meet some wonderful, caring people, and expect to meet some people that may lie to you just to get what they want. sorta like vanilla relationships, only with the the kink thrown in

and as others have offered you can IM people here and get to know them or ask questions....

good luck with your journey