Humiliation where to stop

[denuseri]

Well first off I am not the one drawing the line, my Owner is.
lol

He has the line drawn at directly involving others who are not in our circle of friends etc beyound a certian point; or playing with me in such a manner that would jepordize my safety as his property, or in any way that would reflect poorly upon his auctoritas and dignatus.

For instance, at a goth bar I may only be cuffed, leashed, publically kneeling, etc only light bondafge references, though lots of fettish wear sometimes/ but when in some other appropriate enviroment (some SCA functions, bdsm cons, fettish balls, private homes or clubs etc) one may find me in various states of more serious "humiliation play" publicly leashed on all fours, exposed, slaped, spit on, used in plain site and or shared or made to "preform".

What extreme is reached during any of the above will have a lot to do with his personal preferences at the time and what he considers to be appropriate for the situation.

Being a very kink private person, I do know that he doesnt wish for our fun to be made known to our family or non-kink friends or employers etc; so quite naturally he doesnt ever take me for a "walk" out on the open street naked with a cherry red butt plug protruding from my ass and the words "cum dumpster slut $5 fuck any hole" written on me, or anything like that.

Now for as when I was a submissive it was for the most part very similar (though I was a wilder child back in the day so sometimes it was a little more raunchy and very public at times) but was basically alllways something I felt as if I could stop or say "NO" to if it made me uncomfortable. (this is of course not counting those times when my trust was violated against my will)

So basically for any submissive I would say, once the humiliation reaches a point at which you are no longer turned on or comfortable by being humiliated that perhaps you should consider putting a stop to it.

Saying no at anytime during play or otherwise not withstanding; one should be establishing hard limits about humiliation up front, just as most people may not like skat, animals etc etc involved in their bdsm life they may also wish to avoid certian levels of humilation and or exhibitsion etc.

Other than being just plain exciting (I am a big time humili slut) humiliation is also sometimes used as a training technique to help confer focus and trust unto one's submissive and or potential slave. By repetition in different scenarios a sub builds trust in his or her dominant, when the dominant in question doesnt force the sub to go beyound those preagreed levels. Focus is achieved as well, during humiliation play, unless a dominant is being indulgent, or simply prefers to see their sub plead and baulk at some commands, the sub eventually can learn to stop worrying about the eyes of others and focus on their dominant and the task at hand instead.

[trueangel]

Well said denuseri. Communication is always important, especially in an area such as this. Since everyone is different, humiliation works differently with each of us. For me, there are certain things that are on my hard limit list because of past abuse(not in this l/s). i am very upfront about it so my Sir/Master is aware of course. Some like being slapped in the face or spit upon and get turned on by this type of humiliation. Not me. Slapping my face would most get a reaction like cowering and/or bursting into terrified tears. Anyway...
my Sir has pushed me hard as far as humiliation goes. i am shy and very private as well as a big chicken so this can and is very hard for me at times. He is much more into it than i am,lol. It's a turn on to a degree but not like a nice thick belt across my fanny!
i have had tasks like flashing on the highway, driving on the main highway with my shirt gaping open for 100 miles, alot of what He calls simple. But to me, it takes me awhile to get the nerve up.
Safety is always both of our concern as is people in public, family, co workers...stuff like that. As denuseri said, comfort and being turned on are 2 things to consider as well.

[soft zero]

Other than being just plain exciting (I am a big time humili slut) humiliation is also sometimes used as a training technique to help confer focus and trust unto one's submissive and or potential slave. By repetition in different scenarios a sub builds trust in his or her dominant, when the dominant in question doesnt force the sub to go beyound those preagreed levels. Focus is achieved as well, during humiliation play, unless a dominant is being indulgent, or simply prefers to see their sub plead and baulk at some commands, the sub eventually can learn to stop worrying about the eyes of others and focus on their dominant and the task at hand instead.

As always denuseri I find your comments insightful and instructive. I found this para particularly interesting as I think trust plays such an enormous part in all relationships and I guess, especially D/s.

[Zenmackie]

It's probably been better expressed above, but yes, it's all about communication. You want to please your Master, of course, but he should also want your humiliation to be pleasurable for you. Make sure you report clearly to him what each experience was like for you. If he is a caring Master, he will modify future assignments accordingly, though this isn't to say he won't continue to test your boundaries. But always remember that you do have the right to say No.