i am back on and would like to clarify a few things that got lost in how i wrote what i wrote. Master and i are in a 24/7 r/l thing since October. W/we have been having sessions together for about a year and half before that but for a variety of reasons W/we are moving into a TPE thing. i am new at this in that He is the only person i have been with that isn't vanilla. i had masturbated and been punished once before so i knew it was wrong when i did it, but as for the lie part of this there is more to it. i take a sleep medication and He asked me when i was incoherant. He can verify this for me. it isn't to say that i haven't been punished for it, i was. i lied because i couldn't at the time cope with having to talk or be able to withstand punishment. i confessed the next day as i knew i was wrong.

there was a list of punishments but the one that did me in was this...i had to give Him my collar, my slave anklet and wasn't allowed to address Him as anything other than vanilla stuff. i wasn't allowed to kneel even. no submission at all. i had to act like any live in vanilla girlfriend would. i begged Him to give me back my collar as i was devastated. Anything else (as my punishment ended yesterday) was happily endured as i understand what i was careless with to begin with. i very much appreciate everyones feed back and though i feel a slow learner most of the time, this is a lesson i won't forget. it made me realize that i have some character flaws that need to be addressed if W/we are to have this type of relationship. (dishonesty is not a normal flaw for me) i need to learn to communicate better, way better. i need to also listen even if i don't understand why. He does explain, but i don't have to get it in order to submit. Above all i want to learn and please Him. i was a single parent for years and the ultimate authority in my home and life until Him. i am a happier, safer much more content woman since W/we entered into this relationship and especially since W/we went this direction. W/we are both learning how to navigate this type of relationship in real practice. Especially since W/we have kids and W/we are not alone nearly enough. if anyone can offer suggestions on how to navigate this i would love it. thanks