And to add to what leah06 said, let's not make assumptions that doms who kink on orgasm denial/control are insecure or uncreative or are using it as a crutch instead of unlocking some otherwise-attainable domly zen. In my own relationship, we have gone through great lengths to implant and reinforce the concept that I do NOT submit to him because of orgasms or my genitalia being stimulated, and we have taken that crazy train to the last station by saying "I would be with you even if I never got to orgasm." We've done really long term denials of orgasm, and even weeks of not being able to touch myself. It was murder, and of course I wanted to lie and pretend, but there's something akin to an orgasm just in the feeling that you get when you desperately want to touch yourself and can find the will to say, "Nope, that's not for me" and realize that's the only thing that's standing in your way. It's a rush of emotions and endorphins ranging from "my situation is so pathetic, ooh" to "I have the strength to yield this hard, oooh"... It's a huge rush for both of us to confirm that my submission/slavery/commitment/whatever goes that far, and that he has that kind of control over me. Will he often make me go without touching myself for weeks on end? No, because it's fun to watch the woman you love have pleasure. Can he? Well, we wanted to find out (hint: the answer is yes, if you put in lots of time and communication and almost die lol)... We both felt an attraction to testing the idea that I "could," and the increased sense of intimacy and trust that it brought about in both of us was worth anything. Although, I will say that we did this with lots of discussion about it before and throughout, and LOTS of mentally stimulating (read: mindblowing) smexy action to keep my sexual interest piqued and not just have me bury it. So, I admit that orgasm denial for weeks/months, etc. could be pretty detrimental or stupid if it wasn't handled with any sort of thought, but why assume that people won't be putting any thought into it? lol.

Also, just to add another perspective to this discussion, with our relationship we've tried to build upon a foundation of trust and surrender, with more of a "power displacement that is awesome and works for us" than "power exchange." It's not about whether he's satisfying my needs, or if our relationship is a "two-way street" -- it's not, and that's the point. Recently I found myself begging for him NOT to let me cum until a certain point because I wanted it to be "special"... but got reprimanded because, whether I'm begging to cum or not cum, the point is, I'll cum when he's good and ready

Perhaps it sucks for some, but I thought I'd stick up for the happily-being-unhappily-denied camp