Well, that is the thing Oz. Consensual is a big part of this whole thing. So, by setting the limit and his accepting that limit (I assume that not stating a problem with it is accepting it), it took away my right to negotiate if he felt that poly was a given for him. I am a bit confused as to your reference that D/s and poly are two separate things. Are you saying that poly doesn't fall under Dom limits? (not sure if that made ANY sense but try and work with me here - I am a bit muddled). To me, SSC is a big deal. He has always spoken about it as being a big deal. If we had spoken about this in true D/s fashion, is it out of line for me to believe that it should have been put out there immediately given that I expressed a need for monogamous. The fact that nothing was said about it makes this, to me, a breach of trust. On a human level. Hmmmm, okay never mind, I think I just answered my own question as to the '2 separate issues' thing. This posting was really just me trying to get at whether there was a D/s issue that I was not understanding in all of this.

Thank you so much VaAugusta for your input. This is such a beautiful lifestyle as such that everyone is allowed their feelings and opinions. So I am not judging the poly lifestyle, although it is really something I would have to think about for myself, and if it was going to be poly it would have to be poly for both of us. I guess that is the issue. I wasn't given the opportunity to make taht decsion, which is a cornerstone of D/s when choosing a partner if I understand it correctly. Thank you so much for your well wishes.