Personnaly, humiliation or even just humiliating fantasies entertained in the privacy of my own room is enough to arouse me. So, wether the «scene» is humiliating for one and not the other is irrelevant.

Just as beauty is in the eye of the beholder, humiliation is in the MIND of the beholder.

Thus, even if the beholder is earning arousal from the perception, it is nevertheless the humiliating feeling that is the key to his/her arousal.

I for one enjoy DIY humiliation; no one is imposing it on me. I am the one dishing out the pain, the restraint, the incomfort, the humiliating position and eventualy the relief mechanism (the duration having been previously set)