This is not a give or take thing. You cannot come last on the list of life since it is your life. This is in your soul. Unfortunately, if it is not apart of his soul, you will sense this while in play and it will never bring you pleasure even if he does agree.

You could let him read this site and let him understand that this is as meaningful to you as sex may be to him. If I want to dominate you then you feed off of my power and I off of you. It is afterall a power exchange. If you lack this then it doesn't work.

For most vanilla partners I encourage, I stick with simple tasks that hit close to home. Like doing things that involve sensory tasks or a simple spanking over his lap. They are not too wild or crazy and these have prooven to work for some. They only need the interest to build their curiosity. You have to show them that this is not whips and chains and the steriotype that they believe it to be. It is just delving into a realm where sensory takes on new meaning.

If all else fails join a club that does play parties regularly. That will keep you going. Otherwise, find your own kind and ultimately you will have a partner who truely understands you.