Well give us a little more information on what you've actually tried. BDSM 'pillow-talk' is probably a lot harder when you aren't all that into it and don't really understand bdsm.

Let me elaborate on that, offering submission to someone who doesn't know what to do with it is unfulfilling. Start out slow, so nothing like over-the-knee spanking.

Try asking him to hold your wrists while you have sex. That's actually quite a trip for me because it's the feeling of being 'helpless' and not being able to 'stop' what's happening to me.

Ask him to blindfold you and tie your wrists to the headboard while you guys have sex.

See if he's open to trying stuff like that...