jeanne, i think i can help it. it's probably simple comfort-zone issues i need to get over, as well as the fact that i don't know yet how we react to problems as a couple, simply cause i've never brought any up.. heh. but i will, eventually, cause you're right, i don't want him to disengage. Fuck, i don't want him to consider dreaming about thinking of disengaging. so i'll train myself to talk, and perhaps things will get just slightly worse before they keep getting better!