Myths about Slaves.

[thepast]

While you're at it...

I would sub-divide slaves:

Long distance v. close v. live-in

Bedroom v. 24/7

Slaves who are parents v. slaves who aren't

Slaves who are married to their Masters v. slaves who aren't, but who are in a committed monogamous relationship w/their Masters v. slaves who aren't in a monogamous relationship w/their Masters because they're poly v. slaves who aren't because they are in an "open" relationship

Slaves who work outside of the home in an income-based job v. slaves who work in the home

Slaves who were in the relationship before becoming a slave v. slaves who entered into the relationship either as a slave or as a sub

Slaves who have had previous D/s or M/s relationships v. slaves who are new to BDSM

.........

Enough categories for you yet??

Here's my point...

I agree with denuseri, but I don't think that 2 myths are even SCRATCHING the surface. There is no such thing as a "typical" slave. To each his own. Everyone develops their own relationship with their Dominant over time that works for them. Some people use the term "slave" when speaking with others because they want to denote the level of committment in the relationship; others use the term because they want to denote the level of power exchange; others use it to denote their fantasy of BDSM they would like to enjoy; and yet, still others use the term as an excuse to describe an abusive relationship.

The problem is that there is absolutely no way to know which "definition" of "slave" someone is until you talk to them. For instance, denuseri is married & lives with her Master and is his 24/7--yet both work outside the home, and denuseri is a caregiver for a family member as well. In other words, she has a real life outside of her slavehood. I don't know about 13bk, and I don't know enough about pp, but I assume their situations are very different from denuseri's. I know mine is... And yet, there are still others who are strictly online & would refer to themselves as slaves. Are they? I am not the judge of that, but it's something to keep in mind: everyone has a different situation & a different definition of the word "slave."

Here is my point. Don't judge/believe a book by its cover. If someone says, "I am a slave," I look critically at them, because I don't always believe things people "tell me." So I will ask them... What does "slave" mean to you? Ask someone sometime. You'd be surprised at how much many just babble--useless, incoherent babble. They have no idea what they are talking about or what being a slave is. It's just a term they use for whatever reason--whether it's what their "Dom" has used, or whether it's what they've used that day to be "hip." Don't get me wrong--I'm not jaded--there are definitely people (like denuseri) who know what their slavehood means to them. But don't kid yourself--it is one of the most overbroad, overly-used terms in the BDSM lexicon. I am also not the "Judge & Jury" of the BDSM lexicon--people are free to use whatever term they want to describe themselves... sure... BUT... it's misleading oftentimes, particularly with THIS term, because of it's over-broad use.

...and that is *exactly* why there are so many myths about it. STOP READING THE FICTION, PEOPLE. It's called FICTION for a reason. IT AIN'T REAL. You want to know what it's like to be a real "slave"?? Get out there & ask people who have lived it for 5+ years, who can give you a coherent definition, who have talked w/other people, who don't get defensive when you ask, who are comfortable in their own skin... ask them about what slavehood means to them, what it is... you will get really interesting information--and probably useful information at that. Just don't believe everything you read on the forums or online: remember... people have REALLY loose definitions of "slave"... far beyond what most people would imagine...

As for the "myths" themselves.
Myth 1, re: consent--you consent to breathe. You consent to everything you do, every minute of the day. You consent to not consenting if you choose to do so. So yes, I would agree to this statement, that slaves are like everyone else--they choose to consent & to what degree/level & when. Again, though people may believe that they are "pure slaves" and "obey their Master no matter what" *fakes fainting in love* it's still consenting.

Myth 2, re: dominating in r/l--Slaves can't dominate? Tell that to the people I boss around @ work *laughs*


So... read with care. But read with a critical eye... when it looks too good to be true, it is. And beware, kinky folk: no one lives in the BDSM Castle in BDSMland. People have to have real lives & make decisions & choices within the real world.