Originally posted by Jones, Nikka
Thank you Lord Thomas and BDSM_Tourguide for your input. You have just confirmed what I always suspected: you are true gentlemen. What scares me is that no other doms, male or female, answered the thread.
Would they, or would they not do it?
How many of them have given serious thought to this question?
How many subs are now in unhealthy relationships?
Does this kind of situation constitutes abuse?

As Gandalf the gray said in LOTR: "Questions, questions that need answers"


Hmm... Me wondereth if Nikka has been lurking in one of my Yahoo groups.

Dominating a person with low self-esteem CAN be abusive, but it can also be very normal. It all depends on how the relationship and the actions within it are handled.

As I said in previous posts to this thread, actions should be to build up the submissive's self-image, not tear it down. Unfortunately, much that we do in our BDSM relationships can be destructive, even if in small ways.

I mean, think about what kneeling naked at your dominant's side means to you, but also try to imagine how it can feel to someone whose self-image isn't all that great. I know from personal experience that sometimes just the act of being naked can inspire feelings of discomfort and nervousness. For a very insecure person, that mere act of supplication could very well lead to a panic attack, depending on the severity of her image issues.