No one is perfect, however it is a bit unfair to characterize all other doms and dommes, just because they did not reply to Jones, Nikka's earlier post, as "scary" or too insensitive to the needs of their partners:
What scares me is that no other doms, male or female, answered the thread.
Certainly, it is nice to assume that the two respondees are, in fact, "gentlemen", though the context in which they are so portrayed assumes that all that did not respond to the thread are the opposite.
In terms of the fear factor that's why trust must first be developed. This trusting between partners frequently leads to an intimate endearment, or bond. When all of this happens to the better, it does tend to reduce the fear of whatever comes next.
And, replying to some cyber thread should not be a guide toward gentleness for any sub or slave as something more should be required.