I just stumbled across this thread and I must say that it is one of the more interesting and thought provoking ones I have seen.

Each of us has only his own experience to draw conclusions from...some more than others. I'll add my 2 cents.

I've been in my first true BDSM relationship for about 9 months now. In thinking back over the years, this is probably the first woman I've ever been involved with that DOESN'T have low self esteem. She's probably the most self-confident and together woman I've ever known. She's not only open to all forms of BDSM (except scat...we both find that disgusting) but she is enthusiastic about it. It's been the most fulfilling experience I've had, and a lot of that has to do with her mental stability.

I can see now where the same type of relationship with one of my ex's would have been a very fragile thing.

I hope more people contribute here...