When did I first "know" that I craved being dominated as a slave is?

I didnt "know" anything until long after having been a submissive for many years and then only after leaving this way of life "never to return" on two seperate occassions...only to find myself inexplicably drawn back to it with verve each time, urged on by it's absence in my life like a starving child, banned frorever from eden, ever seeking re-admittance so as to get just one more taste of that proverbial forbidden fruit hidden within it's confines.

Know is a lot more hard to pin down than: "When do you think or suspect you first showed any signs of being a submissive?"

Hindsight being 20/20 I suspect not too many people really "Knew" anything at all about what a dom or submissive even was let alone that they craved to be one on any conscious self introspective level in any kind of way until well after they had been exposed to bdsm and its terminology for some time. It is all too easy to look back at ones life and say "Oh becuase I liked being tied up during cowboys and indians I must have "known" that I would allways be a submissive today" or to chose to experiment with D/s and bdsm, and tell oneself that they are now where they allways belonged...even if one finds out much to their chagrin later that they were in error and only deluding themself.

Its not a way of life for everyone.

We all like to claim that we were born to our way of life or predestined or somehow especially suited or skilled to fufil our chosen place within it but I doubt any of us truely knew that it was unavoidable or undeniable for us in our lives until we had been somehow tested and tempered by some kind of crucible conserning it and came eaither by long gained wisdom or by sudden epiphany too an understanding of total acceptance of "knowing" one's self for what one really is.