I think this is no more or less of a problem in a D/s relationship than in a vanilla one. I can come just fine, under carefully controlled laboratory conditions. Otherwise, I can't. And, like you, I don't find it to be a big deal and I certainly don't judge my partner based on whether he can "make" me come.

In my past life, I met some vanilla men who viewed my orgasmic abilities as a challenge to them - *I'll* make you come, baby! (But no pressure.) They felt unsuccessful when they couldn't "succeed" and I felt disappointing and unwomanly. In my present life, I met some Doms who were exactly the same way.

BUT, in both lives I also met men, vanilla and kinky, who accepted me the way I am and were able to work my own peculiar form of reaching satisfaction into our lovemaking and power exchange. So I don't think it is at all impossible to find a Dom who will respect this about you, and one who won't even try to "fix" it unless you want him to.

I would caution you, though, that there are some Doms, not all, who like to express and experience Dominance by providing a woman with many, many orgasms. I think it fits into D/s for them because it's within their control, and not hers, and they can even give her more orgasms than are comfortable for her. While I'm sure that many Doms like that would still love you and accept you the way you are, YOU might feel that you are disappointing them by not being able to surrender this thing that is important to them, that you can't "give" them the control they want in this area.

I've always enjoyed some level of delayed orgasm and temporary orgasm denial. The fact that I don't orgasm easily is a bonus to a man who enjoys this type of play also. Again, I'm not saying that you need a man like that or that you can't be with another one, I'm just saying that to some Doms, if you can reach arousal but not orgasm, at least some of the time, that's all good.