Have a look and see if there is a local community in your area. You may be surprised to find a group of BDSMers in your town or, at the very least, a nearby town. They won't be obvious so you have to look carefully and it is sometimes worth doing searches on places like Informed Consent and various kinky dating sites for people in your area.

What you need to do is find a munch, this is a vanilla gathering of kinksters in a pub, restaurant, cafe or whatever. Don't worry about extremes here - a munch is purely there to talk about the lifestyle and get to know each other in a safe setting. This is your best bet for finding someone appropriate to play with.