I've seen a few people in the Introductions area and they remind me of my early days - interested and THINKING they know what they want, but un-able to ask for it, cannot find a partner who 'just knows', etc.

The tricky part is you cannot just ask newbies what kind of D/S relationship they want. You have to approach it sideways.

My thought was a series of questions like this:

Rank the following scenes in Most Likely to see yourself in to least likely:

  1. You wake up each morning happy that you have a detailed list of choirs/jobs to do, and know the penalties will happen each evening if you dont do them.
  2. You spend the week with your Dom trying to be nice, but he keeps a punishment book and you know Fri night - an accounting will be made.
  3. You have a fairly normal relationship with your Dom, but at any time you can find your collar on the table or you can at any time put the collar on to signal the change in your roles.
  4. You want some attention so you mis-behave hoping for some intense spanking and tears, followed by the after-care.
  5. You want some attention so you mis-behave when your Dom comes home, but find yourself tied up in the next room while your Dom eats/watches TV. Then without dinner you are shown to a blanket and pillow on the floor and told you might earn your way back into good graces tomorrow.
  6. Your Dom shows up frustrated/in a bad mood and drags you to the playroom for a long, painful scene where he takes his anger out on you. You suffer, but knowing this gives him what he needs keeps you asking for more.


Questions like these are kind of like pre-marriage questions to force thinking about your needs, and your partners.