How did you find out anout BDSM?
I read the "Story of O" when I was 16 or 17 and that really got me interested. When I started dating my now wife I asked her to read it to see if there was something there that 'turned her on'. After she read it she told me about a series of Anne Rice books that she had read - "The punishment of Beauty", Beauty's Release, and the Taking of Sleeping Beauty. I think that is what they are called. If you have not read these stories they are very good especially when you are merely interested in BDSM, Ms, Ds, etc.

That was 11 years ago. We have been married for over 8 years and we have only begun exploring the depths of BDSM. We have also begun playing heavily in Dom/sub play - and my wife is finding that she has a very submissive nature. I am her Master 24/7 and have been for almost a year. We had played for a while where she was my Master but she did not get into and felt very uncomfortable in the dominant role. Now she is my slave and she has never been happier. We do not include others in our play but we do have alot of fun.

I would have never concidered myself a lifestyler or lifer up until a half year ago. After what my sub and I have gone through in the last year I would like to do this for the rest of my life. But again, I am not looking to train many slaves or be trained as a slave but just to live this lifestyle with my own wife as my slave. After much talking about this I am impressed that my wife would also like this to be her lifestyle. Like I said earlier, she is learning more now than ever how submissive she is, and loving it.

One of the big things that I have realized in my own Master/slave life with my wife is how little we communicated before we tried this. The BDSM lifestyle is all about communication between Dom and sub and the trust that builds there because of it. We have never been this close. The last years of playing in the BDSM ways have been wonderful for our relationship and especially the last year when my wife has been in much deeper submission to me as her Master. We have hadk difficulties but we have come through them stronger. In the beginning my slave would buck at a command and there would be days of trial and where I thought we would give it up. Through these trials I only found out more about my submissive wife and her needs as a sub. I also learned a ton about dominating someone, especially someone you love dearly. It is much easier when you don't love them, I think.

There is still much we need to learn from each other and I need to teach to my slave. The primary one is communicating her needs to me, telling me her desires and fantasies. She is a sub, I think by nature, but she has a huge pride and is very private with her feelings. The more she opens up the closer we get. There have been some incredible moments in the past years when she has opened up and revealed some deep fantasy (which we usually act out at a later date). I think the fantasies scare her because she does not think 'normal' people have these types of fantasies. Once she gives them to me and she sees that these are fantasies that we both love than she is much more comfortable with herself. She has only reach 'sub space' a few times in our sessions, but she has been in bliss everytime.

Hope someone enjoys this. I love this site and I like coming here to read the board posts. Thank you.