When did you first know

[lapetite_2812]

Funny, but one of my first conscientious recollections is connected with me twiddling with boredom one of my dolls, then suddenly pulling over its skirt, taking down the panties and spanking determinedly and thoroughly its bottom. And somehow wanted me to be in that humiliating and vulnerable position. Unfortunately I never found myself over the knee of neither my father, nor my mother. There were just some scarce slaps from mommy, that couldn't at all be called a spanking, what about a decent one . In other words they didn't offer me any help in this respect, the only thing I could do was to keep my eyes open to see some other kid taken by the ear and dragged home....then my imagination could easily finish the scenario.

At that age I haven't even heard the words "sex", "arousal" or whatever, let alone know their meaning. Still I knew...actually I felt what a nice disturbance it brought to me the idea of "humiliation" and "spanking". And started craving them. It took me long looong years after that to experience them in real, in a spanking session. To cut the story short and to focus on the main subject - actually I crave the emotions that walk alongside submission - humiliation, pain, tears, emotional and physical play with senses and mind. And I became consciously aware of it when I started to "research" through spanking/erotic fiction, clips, online communities , chats.