Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer Williams View Post
"In order to properly break the rules, you have to know the rules."
> important for 1) newbie doms who really can't read a sub too well and need it or newbie subs who are afraid and that helps them feel better
Common sense!

2) vanillas, whom in most cases really don't understand or accept what we do and things like "rules" help smooth the bumps a little. To try to explain how on earth a person screaming "No, stop" at the top of their lungs is consenting, we have at least safe words (though that won't get you anywhere if police get involved).
Actually, sometimes it can. Where I used to live in DK we had a bdsm club, and it could happen that people ran out into the road tied and naked. The police, knowing all about us, would shake their heads and tell us to think of the neighbours!

Also, have anyone ever been stopped by a trafic control with a partner in handcuffs? If bdsm is sufficiently known as being done by sane people, you may well get the same reaction.

There is also the question of children not being in danger just by living in a home where the parents happen to be into bdsm.

It is important, like it or not.

It's one thing to hurt somebody on purpose in a way they've agreed to; it's quite another to hurt them by accident in a way you didn't mean. And there have been those who died from "accidents". None of us wants that. That is, of course, the ultimate thing we try to prevent.

Nobody wants to become permanently damaged, and I think that is what most of us mean by "safe". We make our choices carefully, with proper information and research and are aware of the risks of what we choose, so we are "sane." We are not criminal rapists, taking what is not given to us, and that is what we mean by "consensual".
Exactly!
"Ups" is the word we do not want to hear..