If you know in advance that he is angry (sometimes difficult to spot but little signs may give away the ticking fuse before the bomb goes off but only you know him well enough to spot them) then this may be a time to switch into 'service' mode. Long, stressful day at work so he comes home to find either:

- A submissive who pokes him and prods him and bothers him about little things which only add to his stress

or

- A submissive who takes his coat, asks him if he wants anything, has a cup of his favourite hot drink ready, offers to massage his shoulders or rub his feet, maybe tell him to go take a bath while she prepares dinner and so on.

The latter can defuse the bomb before it goes off. Later on, you may want to offer to talk to him about what is making him angry (there's that communication thing again) as this may help him shift some of the stress. If he says no, don't push it, just let him talk in his own time. Work stress can be really bad and he may not even be aware of it.

Lavender oil is a good essential oil for relaxation (for all that it smells of grandmas ). You can put up to 10 drops in a bath of hot water (which he must soak in for at least 15 minutes to get the full benefit) or a few drops into an oil burner (or bowl of warm water on or over a radiator) or mix a few drops with almond oil (or any organic oil - sunflower or olive oil work as well but has a less neutral smell than almond) and use it for massage. Warning: I have known some people to fall asleep under the influence of lavender oil.

You can also rub the temples and forehead with neat, unmixed lavender oil (take care not to get into the eyes) as it is a fairly safe oil for skin contact. DO NOT USE ANY OTHER FORM OF PURE ESSENTIAL OIL IN THIS WAY AS SOME OF THEM ARE VERY CAUSTIC (especially the citrus oils) AND SO SHOULD NOT BE USED TOPICALLY IN AN UNDILUTED FORM. Some are safe for this application but it is best not to take the risk unless you know for certain. All it takes is a few drops on the tips of each of your middle fingers which are then rubbed in small circles round the temples. Gets the carotid circulation moving