Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer Williams View Post
I'm sorry, but to me dominance is more than simply forcing a person into having a conversation (or doing anything) that they don't want to.

Cool we have that in common then, becuase I also believe dominance is about way way more than that too. BTW I didn't say anything about forcing anyone to do anything, SSC.

I can talk until I'm exhausted, but unless he responds honestly, it's pointless.

Exactly! There in lays the crux of the problem and no ammount of journeling will change it in my experience.

And you can't force a person to feel comfortable by ordering them to; that is the kind of situation that has to be approached delicately and on their terms until you're able to guide them to the point you wish them to be at.

Again I never said anything about forcing anyone. Looks like my point about written comunications lack of effectivness is proved again.

For my little one, speaking his emotions or thoughts verbally is a terrifying thing. Me simply ordering him to not be afraid isn't going to work. You only dominate a person as far as they are willing to submit, and you never actually control someone else; they are choosing to submit to you. So I feel it is my job, as his domme, to help him find the root of the issue and to guide him in the direction I want with patience, pushing him just to the edge of where he wants to go, which is in this case, speaking his mind honestly even if he thinks I might not like what he has to say.

Sounds like some verbal comunication trust building excersises are in order then.

At no point am I asking him to make any decisions, either.

That may be true...but it also may not be the way he is interpeting what you are saying when you ask him such things. Of course you won't know what he was thinking unless you explain yourself to him and get him to respond honestly.

I just need all of the information in order to make the proper decision, and his thoughts and feelings are part of the information that I need. That doesn't mean he gets to make any choices about what happens; it just means that if we're doing something he doesn't like, I want to know that (like how I know he hates to visit my mother, but he's not getting out of that one, ever).
Yep. I wasn't sugesting it be otherwise. I don't know how you got the idea that I was...unless that is written communication isn't as effective as some would like it to be.