Do You Or Don't You? Will You Or Won't You?

[Flaming_Redhead]

The idea for this question came from another site, but I was curious as to how my Library friends would answer this.

Your significant other brings someone home and expects you to engage in a threesome. You've never seen this person before in your life. What would your reaction be and why?

[Lisais mine]

um, both of you get out?

because the idea of someone violating my trust in such a gross fashion, not only looking for a partner, but bringing them in to my house, leaving me, the partner, feeling like the bad guy if i said no, is just plain wrong.

[Jennifer Williams]

Any relationship where this happens has some serious, serious communication issues.

[blacqcobra]

The idea for this question came from another site, but I was curious as to how my Library friends would answer this.

Your significant other brings someone home and expects you to Why? your reaction be and why?

Why?? Though my domme passed away, a few years ago. I know this, she never ever believed in sharing me with anyone without first passing it by me. She respected me. Thus I loved her and would do anything I was told. But she had boundaries for herself and for her sub. and one of them was she didn't believe me doing anything without my permission. She taught me that although i willingly gave myself to her. It was me who controlled the scene. She took me out one night to a lesbian bar, but asked for my permission to be passed around, like a little slut. I happily gave it and believe me that night was the best night any male sub could have. I was used and abused to by each of the women in the club.. And my mistress sat back and enjoyed the whole scene!! So no, not with someone you never met. That shows a lack of respect for the sub or slave.

[FrgnSwtc]

That kind of thing would end the relationship immediately.

It would be a blatant indicator that the trust, care and communication are malfunctioning and/or broken. After something like that, all of the above would be irretrievable.

[socal_dan]

I'm going to have to agree with Frgn and Lisais Mine. If I managed to screw up so badly as to do this I hope my sub would have enough self respect to either walk out or tell me to get the hell out.

[nawteeone]

Hmm. The original post wasn't clear: This is someone you don't know, but it doesn't say it was never discussed prior, and I agree with all the above posters that that changes the whole thing.

I would think that most people in this type of relationship at one time or another would have had a discussion about threesomes. M and I have discussed it. I would be open IF: there was 100% certainty that the person was healthy; this third person would be able to keep their mouth shut after, and they understood that the things we would do would not be your run of the mill stuff. Of course, this narrows the possibility of it ever happening down to nothing.

But if after those ground rules had been covered, he shows up out of the blue with this stranger, then let's go! However, if we hadn't discussed it in detail at some prior time, and he just assumed, then showed up with a stranger....hoo boy. Trouble.

[Flaming_Redhead]

nawteeone is sharp!

I'm going to answer my own question now. The Italian did this to me last year. I fucked them and loved it.

I sent the Italian a text message asking if he was busy. He said he was going out to dinner with his best friend. I told him to have fun. There was a pause. I had a feeling that he was thinking of letting me come over. His next text said he might want me to come over anyway. I asked what time. He said come on.

On my way to the Italian's house, the idea struck me that I was probably going to be the evening's entertainment. I decided to go with the flow. We went to dinner, came back to the house and hung out. While trying to watch a movie, the Italian began smacking my ass. He knows it's foreplay for me. His best friend asked that if we were going to do anything I turn so he could see. I obliged. In a minute, my pants were down, and the Italian was showing off my wares.

It was hot! I felt like I was on display. The Italian whipped me in front of his friend, as if to show him I would do anything. After that, the cock sucking began and then the fucking. I had never met this friend. I didn't find him attractive. I was never asked if I wanted to do this, unless you count the first time I dated the Italian 4 years ago when I told him I was interested in a MFM threesome. We had been apart for 2 years and only been back together for a couple of months when this event occurred. I pondered whether or not I should go along with it, and it only took me a second to decide that I trusted him.

It was one of the best nights ever because it was a fantasy from a long time ago, and the Italian remembered. It touched on many of my kinks, including exhibitionism, humiliation, pain, dominance and submission to the point of consensual nonconsent. I was allowed to be "bad" and had no guilt or shame. I'll admit this scenario might not have worked out so well with anyone else, but it was perfect for us.

[brwneydgirl]

I was allowed to be "bad" and had no guilt or shame.

Thumbs up on that, Flaming_Redhead!!!!

[denuseri]

Well when I looked at your question I happened to notice you said "signifigant other" which to me implys my Owner...who well "owns" me lol..so..since Ive allready been there and done that on more than one occassion in the past...call me a slut all you want...the question is moot...I would do what my Owner told me to do.

But that is between he and I ya know...we allready have all this kind of stuff worked out between us...though we never discussed anything about poly stuff or him maby on occassion sharing me with others specifically in any kind of sit down fashion prior to anything...we also didnt have to, the auspices of our paticular arrangment make some things unnessesary.

What should someone else do...well thats between them and their partners.

I am very glad you had fun Red,,,it sure sounded like it (winks & weg)...sighs, nothing like a double dom on sub sandwich fuck to really get my juices flowing. Dam sis now I am all wet again you evil girl you...lol

Ps...did they sandwich you any heh heh heh?

[flying66]

hm... 'seen' is the keyword here. Maybe I've heard of this person before and just never met them. I'd expect to sit down and chat a bit before engaging in any activities.

[Ozme52]

Sadly I was on the road... I saw the original post and as it was in the submissive couch area, and was a direct question to subs, I waited.

Now seeing the initial replies I could well have answered (or rather asked,) if threesomes were ever discussed in general and what expectations you knew your dominant had of you.

The conclusion that so many jump to... that trust or respect was broken, that some line had been crossed, does not take into account the nature of the relationship. It does not account for kinks, fantasies, or desires of the "used" partner. It does not take into account the level of service the submissive wants to give to please their dominant.

So as long as the concepts have been discussed and generally agreed upon, including situational limits (with strangers or mutual acquaintances,)

Yes indeed. Hot.

[Ozme52]

hm... 'seen' is the keyword here. Maybe I've heard of this person before and just never met them. I'd expect to sit down and chat a bit before engaging in any activities.

Depends on your fantasy...

Perhaps a hood is in order and you'd never know if someone you are meeting "for the first time" had actually intimately used you before. For a humiliation based relationship, that would be a powerful ongoing stimulus.

[subrob99]

For me the relationship would be over because of trust but might as well enjoy the threesome

[redsim]

to be honest I don't really know how I would react; though I think it would depend on the depth of the relationship and whether I knew or knew of the person in question. I don't know if I could do it though, I think a D&s relationship between only two people requires a great deal of trust and that has to be formed over a period of time; this of course is only my humble humble opinion. If I did not have that trust yet I would refuse (though it would feel odd for a hormonal male like me to pass up a threesome) because for me relationships are a bought feeling safe and secure to a point of coarse. That said this is just me and relationships aren't made with cookie cutters; so every relationships should be considered on a case by case basis.

P.s Be kind to me I'm new and stupid

[MstrWolf_ncs_lilbrat]

i completely agree with Oz that the answer to this question largely lies in the type of submissive a person is. i'm slave, so there would be absolutely no question. i wouldn't need to pull Master aside and make sure the other person was clean: of course he would be. Master would never endanger me; otherwise i wouldn't be wearing His collar. And if Master didn't tell me beforehand, then i would know that was purposefully done to add an element of surprise, not because He is taking advantage of my service and submission.

i feel this is a pretty basic thing to go over though. i mean, if you have a master or dominant and you aren't sure whether this could happen, then yes you guys have some serious communication catch-up to do. BDSM is all about trust and communication...so it's important to know where the boundaries are, which ones are movable and which ones aren't, and maybe even have an idea of how much and often the movable ones can or will be moved around, and it's important to trust your owner. i mean, if you don't have a clear idea of the limits, and then when things happen if you can't trust in your master 100%, then seriously what's the point in being owned by that person?

But let me just say that were i not owned by Master, and i was just with someone in a relationship and they pulled that kind of shit, i would kick them out of the house without batting an eyelash.

[tina2008]

Unfortunately, this would end our relationship. We discussed almost every scenario prior to my acceping Sir's collar and "surprise" threesomes are not something we would engage in.

[didoanna]

Yeah, "surprise threesomes" do sound like quite weird. I mean for it to come totally out of the blue would be a bit strange. Don't get me wrong, if that's like what you enjoy, then great, but, it doesn't really do much for me.

And to be honest, the choice in the relationship I'm in would be between H&T (the two people who have put me on the 'straight and narrow') and if they wanted to do it. I mean T is H's long term male partner and I can't imagine H wanting another man especially as she seems like very happy at the moment.

[DowntownAmber]

The question did say "your" significant other - the "you" in "your" implying the person writing the response to the post, right? No one answering has to jump to any conclusions as to the nature of the relationship, they're IN the relationship so we hope they would know the framework of it...lol

In my case, there are people J and I know and have discussed that we would be open to playing with. That has happened, and it was fun. A stranger invited to screw me, on the other hand, would be a SERIOUS NO GO. I would frankly question if J had fallen and cracked his skull on the way back to the house. I don't sleep with people I don't know and that I don't have trust, friendship, and a bond with and I don't plan on starting.

[ickleimi]

if it was my master and he asked it of me I wouldnt even hestitate