i'm sorry if i confused people with what i said. i know a sub turns over their rights to their Master thus leaving Him in charge but a good Dom will still have to stay within the guidlines set by both parties most of which are set by the sub. If the Dom is already in a relationship with the sub before they fall in these rolls than it may already be known to the Dom what the sub wants, doesn't want, or is willing to try. A good Dom isn't going to make you do things you are truely against. i will not do any scat or pissing play nor do i like spitting. Thank goodness my Dom doesn't either but even if he did i know he respects me enough not to do it or that would be the end. This is what i mean by a sub is in charge, there are things i won't do and choose not to do them or have them done to me. There were things in the past that i wasn't sure i wanted to do and told my Dom i didn't want to do them but He knew it was something i needed to do. (for more details check out my story in the sexualy abused forum). He respected my wishes and didn't do it right away but did build me up to it until, even though i said i wasn't ready, he did it because He knew it was time and i trusted my Dom that he was right. But again i did have somewhat of a say in what happened and when. So when i say a sub is in charge i don't mean ultimately, just the fact that you set most of the guidlines as to what you are willing to do. You may not have the choice as to when, where or what it is you want at the time, thus the submission, but when it does happen you know it should be something you had said from the beginning was something you wanted, and not from the beginning of the that particular session but the beginning of the relationship. i hope i cleared some things up. It's one thing to have a Master walk all over you only thinking of Himself and another to have a Master that thinks of/for both of you.