Silke-
I empathize with you. Sometimes life gets in the way of a relationship, be it r/l or online. The loneliness that causes is one of those dull voids that no amount of good wishes or sympathy seem able to fill. They help though, and you should take to heart the support the members of the community have poured out for you in this thread. We all missed you when your service was out and are glad that you are back. Take heart in this, and keep riding the rollercoaster - you never know what special thing awaits you around the next corner.