As someone who does not engage in the 'lifestyle', someone who keeps his D/s in the bedroom, I have avoided this topic until now... But I read two things that got me thinking.

(Try not to get me thinking about the big D/s picture folks-- it makes me run off and sacrifice porn to Christ. )

Originally posted by Cleo671
But the question that still remains for me is whether or not those that have suffered traumatic experiences in the past (at the hands of people they've 'trusted' or loved etc) can not only trust, but be fully comfortable with their personal choices...
Somethign else to consider... when you talk about someone who has been through a serious trauma, you also have to ask yourself, 'Can their choices for themselves be trusted?'

I'm no college professor and my understanding of psychology is college sophmore at best. The only answer I can find as a semi-Dom is, "try not to be an insensitive ass"... and be ready to find a limit somewhere.

That's part of the reason I doubt I could ever be the 24/7 Dom. No blood oath, no contract, no handshake will ever give me proper consent to 'do as I will' to a sub. Her showing me a trigger-- something she wears, a looks she has, something that implies her consent-- gives me license, but being a human being requires me to take care not to put a fragile mind in harm's way.

Originally posted by Dari
so if I ever happen to find myself at the "mercy" of someone who doesn't mind myself going inside because of feeling ignored, who doesn't even try to assure me that I don't look like a monster and who doesn't care to reassure me on my other qualities there's only one thing left to do - quit. but someone who does something like that on perpose is a jerk and has no rigt to consider him/herself a dominant in my eyes.
This nails it perfectly, right here. A dominant isn't measured by how mean he/she is, or how much mercy he/she has, but by the quality of his/her mercy, and the respect that he/she commands of a sub. At the root of respect is trust; at the root of trust is understanding.

Don't sub to Homer Simpson.